Have had many happy hours reading previous posts and simply LOVE this community....
I recently had a termination (3wks ago), while physically it was fine, mentally and emotionally it was very traumatic as I had to re-evaluate my whole philosophy and understanding of life. My lover has a serious mental illness and even confessed to me that he had cheated on me, however we have remained together. The problem now, is that we both are desperate to re-connect and show our love to each other, yet once we get to actual penetration I loose it.
My thoughts start racing and I start visualizing him with this other woman etc.. I even jumped out of bed the other day with the urgent need to shower, I felt dirty inside, yet he had only just entered and I PUT HIM IN!!! Naturally he is devastated by what he has done and how he has hurt me, 'us'.
Should I just give myself more time?, I know we could do other things, but Im into penetration, plus he's not the best at the other stuff.. I really, really want it, but just cant go past a certain point... HELP!