I am a 21-year-old woman and my (first) boyfriend and I have been together for a year and have been having sex for almost the same amount of time, but during this time I haven't been able to orgasm with him once. I have been able to orgasm on my own. We've tried a lot of things already, but honestly I'm starting to lose hope. When we are having PIV sex, we've tried plenty of positions that are 'supposed to' help with reaching an orgasm for a woman, but it doesn't do anything for me. Both he and I have tried stimulating my clitoris during PIV sex but our fingers are always too dry and spit doesn't quite help in the way that whatever it is coming from my vagina does when I'm turned on. I also find it difficult to feel any stimulation on my clitoris while I'm being penetrated either by a penis or fingers.
As far as fingering goes, this has gotten me closest to any sort of release. His fingers go either very deeply inside me or about half, and then he starts making a 'come here' movement which drives me nuts. BUT, while I feel some sort of climax build up (not the sort of build-up I'm used to) it never goes beyond that and it's very frustrating. After a while it also starts to feel both good and bad. My bf has tried going down on me during fingering, but there the earlier mentioned problem arises again, where I can't really feel any stimulation on my clit during penetration.
Last of all, there is cunnulingus. Honestly, it does close to nothing for me. It just feels kind of nice but there is no arousal there, even when he is directly on my clit or somewhere nearby. Mostly my legs just shake a lot but I'm not turned on by it.
Since he is my first boyfriend, he is also my first bed partner. Could it be that I am, after a year of sexual closeness with him, still too insecure or uncomfortable with his touches? Or is there something that we/I/he are/am/is doing wrong?
Any advice is very appreciated!