I'm 32. Since I was about 18 years old, I had taken hormonal birth control pills to regulate my abnormally heavy and irregularly timed periods. About 3 years ago I was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism (PE) and prescribed blood thinner medication to dissolve the clot in my lung. I was also told to never take hormonal birth control again. I had no risk factors except for taking birth control. Last year I went without a period for a few months. My Obgyn saw follicles but nothing abnormal on a pap test. My FSH was tested during no period and it was about a 33. I had my FSH tested again on day 3 and it was about 88. I was referred to reproductive endocrinologist (RE) who ran more FSH tests in addition to an AMH and genetic testing. The AMH was 0.015 while the FSH was in the 100s. The RE doctor diagnosed me with premature ovarian failure or primary ovarian insufficiency, premature menopause, and a genetic mutation called a balanced translocation on my X chromosome which constitutes for "likely several miscarriages or a developing fetus with birth defects." He referred me to have a bone density scan, which came back as positive for osteopenia. That is when I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I didn't care about anything anymore I was just so distraught. I've seen a lot of scary things in my job, I work in child protection so I have been through some tough times, both physically and emotionally. I feel like the job helped build my personal strength though so going through last year was extremely difficult.
I took a new job closer to home about 5 months ago and it is in the same field just a different location. It is ultimately better for my health, less stress but still stress in a typical protection job. I have felt emotionally better after forgetting about the diagnoses and focusing on my relationship with my husband, which has gotten stronger since. He is very supportive of the situation and a RN so he understands what is going on/ what the diagnoses mean. For the past few months I have had fairly regular periods which I didn't notice until April of this year. I had a check up already scheduled with my Obgyn and 2 days before seeing her, I had my period and it was very heavy and regular. I asked for an FSH just by chance and it was on day 3 and it was a 14. I started tracking my cycle and we TTC. I had taken several tests throughout the next month, all of which were negative.
On Memorial Day I got sick and found out a few days later I had gotten food poisoning, where I still don't know. I ended up getting diagnosed with Shigella and it was horrific. I became slightly dehydrated through the process. Before getting a prescription for an antibiotic, I told my primary care doctor that I was TTC and hadn't gotten my period yet which should have come by then. They did a urine test and it was faint positive. They did a blood hcg that night and it was 7.5. They told me positive for pregnancy. I told my close family because they know about the past year. I did 3 more tests every 2 days: 8.0, 8.1 and 7.5 last week on Wednesday. I saw the Ob today and she said she has no idea what my results mean. She referred me to a new RE as I told her the previous RE she referred me to was without adequate bedside manner and showed no support. I had consults with him, no checking out inside my body for what was going on. I had blood work done at a lab off site and he just read me results of my blood work. It was very in-genuine and cold. I have the new RE doctor this Friday. Part of me is scared because when I called, the nurse was very cold and said I wasn't pregnant, my results are too low, there's no reason I need to be seen there, she had to double check with doctors to even see if I could have an appointment even though I had referral from my Ob who has no idea what to make of my results and was asking for their opinion and an internal exam...and let alone I have a history of PE so I'm already put into high risk for getting another PE if I was in fact pregnant. I read a lot online. I read people might not have a normal pregnancy with low HCG levels but it is possible. And it is not possible to see anything on a sonogram this early with low hcg. And it might not show on an internal exam with the RE. I also read about "phantom hcg syndrome" and women in menopause could have hcg levels hovering in a low range like mine. I haven't been depressed about the POF/POI and menopause diagnosis since last year but now I've been thinking about it and I can't help but be sad. I told myself that I was okay with either outcome; pregnant or miscarriage because both tell me my body is healthy now and can conceive. I guess what scares me is that I never thought about a "phantom hcg" or never having been pregnant in the first place. And the possibility of being in menopause and just never being able to get pregnant, which just confirms the first RE doctor's diagnoses.
I feel alone and in the dark right now. I wanted to see if there was someone that might have gone through a similar situation so I know I am not alone in this. And if anyone thinks I am completely nuts for demanding an internal exam at this point to prove I am either pregnant or not.... part of me feels it is justified with the information I've read online and my health history. Sorry if this was a drawn-out and boring post to anyone.