I'm hoping someone can help me. For the past couple months I have had a complete loss of libido. I am completely turned off almost all the time. a couple times I tried to have sex and was extremely ticklish/fidgety (I was nearly wincing every time he touched me, we had to stop). For the most part he has been patient with me. It's really frustrating though because he thinks he is the reason I don't want to have sex, no matter how much I tell him it's me. He sometimes thinks I am hiding something from him and I keep telling him I don't know what's wrong. I don't think it's him because nothing arouses me in the end. I don't randomly get horny like I used to. I have zero desire to masturbate. I don't fantasize about him or anybody. The couple times we have had sex recently I had trouble getting wet. Normally I am pouring fluids and have to use a towel so this is a new thing for me. Last night I thought I might be able to get aroused but as we were starting to fool around everything grossed me out. First his mustache kept getting in my mouth and nose and it was bothering me. Then his hair got on me and I felt it was oily and I got grossed out by that. These things never bothered me in the past- why now? He offered to wash his hair and trim his mustache but I said no because I had the lingering feeling if it wasn't those two things it would just be something else. The anxiety I am getting because of this problem is probably making the issue worse. I looked up going to a sex therapist but it will be way too expensive for me (the cheapest one I found was $110 for 50 min...). Does anybody know of anyway I can 1) find out what is causing it or 2) have some inexpensive treatments for loss of libido or 3) tricks for getting aroused?
I will do practically anything I can afford. I would try the sex therapist but I know if it's a real issue they aren't often resolved in 1 hour and I couldn't afford more than a ~3 sessions. I will read books if anybody has recommendations. I will try herbal supplements. Anything!!!
Other things I should probably mention:
- I exercise regularly and am pretty healthy
- I have been on Skyla since July (previously was on Mirena)
- May have slight PCOS
- My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. We recently decided to get married. I have had some anxiety about it but I think a normal level for a decision of that caliber.
- I have experienced a similar loss of libido a couple years ago when I was going through a very severe depression. Currently, I don't feel depressed really. Slightly stressed, but nothing out of the ordinary as I am a grad student.
- I have great anxiety about going to gynecologists
Thank you in advance for any/all hints/tips/tricks/advice