I my third entry in about one week.
Well I can't sleep because of thoughts in my head so I figured I would ask for some advice and hopefully be able to sleep after. It will properly be a bit long sorry for that.
One month and one week ago I started internett dating. I had had a profile for a few hours before the guy in question contacted me. We really hit it off, I have never smiled more than during those first two weeks.
Then we had our first bumb.
I am a student, and live 600 km away from this guy (but my plan is to move home this sunner), but I was going home for easter holiday, so we planned to meet. He told be about one week before that he feelt like this was not right. And I felt really heartbroken and told him as much, but that it was okay, what was I suppose to say.
He told me the next day that he really regretted what he said, and that it was due to more or less being scared of our first meeting. We have about the same personality and I understood what he was talking about, I had had the same scary feelings myself. And we really hit it off again.
We had our first meeting, and our second and the last one was our fifth meeting.
During easter we spent the first night talking, but the other 4 other things happened, one of the nights he had a real long makeout sesion, two of the other nights he really tried to get me off, one of those nights he used his mouth for about one hour, and his hand for another hour. And one of those 5 nights we had sex, PIV sex, I willingly gave him my V-card (and I don't regrett it, we have had a real nice time together).
We have talked alot, we have really hit it off, some of the things we have said, and he have said had lead me to believe I was not the only one bitten by the love bug. We even talked about the fact that he would get an invite to a family christmas party if he were still there, and he did say that it was a very likely posibility.
So this monday, last night, we had known each other for about one month and one week, and having just traveled 500-600km away from him, I guess I wanted to pull some part of him closer, and I asked if he would mind if I chaned my relationship status on facebook. I did not feel singel anymore, so I figured I could ask. That did not go well, he was not ready for that. And I pretty much freaked him out.
I tried a smooth recovery, but he has been really quiet today (like he was last time), and I told him as much, and that I was sorry for making things awkward last night.
He then came with a long reply, that this felt like a fling, that he was not sure if this was a relationship, YET, but maybe in the future. That he was not finished with me, but that maybe we should have a reality check, we have only met 5 times. And that we were clearly wery differently emotionally into this ... well fling as he called it. We har both not the most talkative people, and having netflix on has been a help, he feels like that is negative. Snd yes it is, but .. It is not easy for two of our types to sit alone in a room and talk, we are just that type, and he told me that that was one of the things that attracted him.
Am I the one being unresonable? I know we have only met 5 times, (4 intimate times) but only 5 times total.
But we have talked a lot and known each other for 5 weeks, is that not long enough to be able to call him boyfriend, and to say that I am no longer single.
After the first bump I did for the first 2-3 days feel slightly unsure if he would suddenly get scared again, and now I said this, and ... Well he has to get up in like 4 hours to go to work so we have to talk later, but yeah...
Should I risk trusting him again? Am I being unresonable? Should I say I am sorry again and tell him that I am not done with him either?
What would you do?
It is untimately my decision but I could use some help in wheter or not I am the one moving too fast. I have never been in a relationship before, that in itself might be why I did not realise that it was too early to ask such a thing. I don't feel attached to him simply because of him taking my virginity, but I have been able to share so much personal stuff with him. I really liked him, mum was asking if I love him. I think I did, je was constantly on my mind, he was the first one I wanted to senda snap to to share something funny, the one I wanted to talk to. So yes I want to say that I did fall in love.
And now my heart has broken a bit, again!
Well unless I stop typing I will never stop. I tend to babble when I am feeling enotional about anything.
So any help, advice, kind word, or word to tell me to breath and to get a grip. Anything really.
What would you do is mainly my question?