hand_flower (hand_flower) wrote in vaginapagina,

new partner has herpes and i don't, others' experiences with this?

hi all,

ok. i recently started seeing a dude who i really like. he has herpes and i don't. i'm stoked about seeing him, but it's taken a little bit of navigation for both of us in terms of sexual stuff; i think i'm one of the earlier partners he's had since he got it and he's the first partner i've had who has it. so sometimes talking about it and hooking up has been a little more awkward or cumbersome than expected and we still have not had sex.

i'm not even sure exactly what information i'm looking for but if anyone has experience being either person in a relationship like this -- one person has herpes (or any sti), one doesn't -- could you share it? good things/bad things/stuff that seemed like it was going to be a big deal but it wasn't/stuff that seemed like it wouldn't be a big deal but it was? how it affected your sex life with that person and ways you worked around it? I want to protect myself, but I also want to be a satisfying partner to him, and I definitely do not want to alienate him or make him feel embarrassed if there's something I'm not comfortable doing.

I don't personally know anyone else who's been in this situation, so I'd mostly feel curious and grateful to know what it's been like for others.

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