I was wondering if anyone might be able to give me some advice. I'm a 29-year-old cis female and have been experiencing pain and discomfort after sex since I was 23-24. When it started, I went to the doctor about it and was referred for a pelvic ultrasound but they found nothing but polycystic ovaries. I went back 2-3 more times over the next few years and had 2 further ultrasounds but they again found nothing except polycystic ovaries. I didn't really know what else to do as I kept being told no reason for the pain could be found. The only thing I could think of was possible chronic PID from a time I might have got chlamydia when I was 21 (that's a really long story - the dr gave me the antibiotics for it without testing for it) but I was told it was unlikely, as I would have had more symptoms and pain. I had a sexual relationship from 21-23 with no pain at all, it didn't start until I was 23.
So I just carried on with my life because I didn't know what else to do. I was having a pap smear a couple of years ago and the nurse noted that I was in pain having it done and suggested I might have endometriosis and that I should try to get referred for a lap procedure. I went to the doctor and asked about it and was told it was very unlikely I had endometriosis, as my periods are not really heavy (in my opinion, anyway....quite a lot of blood comes out when I go to the bathroom, but I can go hours between changing tampons/pads) and I don't really get period pains at all. The next part sounds bizarre, but I just sort of got used to it. Without really realising it, the pain after sex started to ruin things with my ex-boyfriend, as it often hurt and he felt bad, so it put him off doing stuff. We broke up last March and I had no sexual contact with anyone all of last year, and totally forgot about it. I was busy with other stuff, happy to have a break from men, and have no abdominal or period pain when not sexually active.
I hooked up with a guy I've been casually seeing on Monday night and ended up with the pain again. We were pretty rough but not ridiculously so. It started when he was giving me oral and fingering me at the same time - the pain felt like a dull ache, as if he was touching my cervix (is this even possible???). The sex was then mildly painful, but the worst part came later - I had a dull, uncomfortable ache in my abdomen which lasted until yesterday. It's by no means constant - it comes now and again. I guess I got so used to it that I barely noticed it - it was last night when I was sitting on the couch with this guy, I moved a little and grimaced as I felt the pain - he was really alarmed by how much pain I seemed to be in and asked what on earth was wrong.
I'm now worried and scared - I'm afraid that I might have some fertility-ruining condition that I've left to progress over the past few years. I would have gone back to the doctor earlier, but with the almost total lack of sex for the last 2 years, I had actually forgotten about it. Which sounds crazy given the level of health anxiety I generally suffer from, but there you go. I think I got so worn down and tired from going to the doctor time and time again that I just accepted their explanation that it was probably just a combination of having a sensitive cervix/PCOS/IBS. I wish I had pushed for the lap now but I guess I wanted to believe I was fine, and also I read that the procedure itself could cause endo, or something like that.
Any ideas? :(