estrellafugaz85 (estrellafugaz85) wrote in vaginapagina,

Dealing with the topic of sexual history

I was hoping to get some advice on this. I know the sensible and advised thing to do before having any sexual contact with someone is to ask about their sexual history, but how do people actually implement this in real life? It's also often advised NOT to ask about things like number of partners and not to judge regarding past experiences, so how do people ever find the right balance?

It hasn't been much of an issue before, as my first partner was very young and had only been with a couple of girls, and the next one was a close friend first, so we'd already had conversations about our sex/dating history, but now I'm 29 and finding it very hard to be back on the dating game. There seems to be even more of a hookup/casual sex culture now than ever before, and most men I know have had quite a lot of partners and different experiences.

My question is, how do you broach the topic of sexual history and STIs without causing offence? I'm very stressed at the moment because I gave a guy I'd basically just met unprotected oral and it occurred to me later that I had absolutely no idea how many people he's been with (I know for sure he's had casual sex and obviously that's what we were doing!) his attitude towards protection, whether he's ever been with a sex worker...the right thing for me and my anxiety would been to have waited and had these conversations BEFORE sexual activity (lesson well and truly learned for next time). We're still in contact with plans to meet up and I think he wants to keep seeing me but now we've already done stuff, I think any revelations about past stuff might stress me out even more.

I am going for a sexual health check-up next week and have already been referred for counselling for what my doctor perceives to be over-anxiety relating to sex/sexual health but how can I deal with this in a practical way?
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