12:25 am - 09/26/2014

generational differences?

Hello everyone. I'm new to livejournal and this community, so excuse me if I do anything wrong.

I'm having an issue with my mother regarding my sex life and was looking for some advice on how to remedy the situation.

I was dating a guy for 7 years. We broke up a few months ago and I have begun dating again. My mother could not act more horrified at the fact that I have sex with men who are not in a committed relationship with me. She asked me if I am being safe, and I told her that I am on HBC and I use condoms. She acts as if the men I sleep with have manipulated me into having sex with them. She doesn't understand that I am an adult and I enjoy sex. I've had sex with TWO guys since my ex and my mother has the audacity to ask me, "How can you sleep with guy after guy after guy and be ok with that?"

How do you answer a question like this? I'm 27 years old, this is ridiculous. I feel absolutely insulted. I don't want to keep things from my mother, but it seems as this is a subject I'll just have to avoid forever?... That makes me sad. Anyone else have a similar problem? Any advice? Thanks for hearing me out.
(no subject) - Anonymous
astridmyrna 26th-Sep-2014 05:10 am (UTC)
That's incredibly rude and disregarding of the OP's feelings to basically tell her that she's too sensitive when her mother is essentially slut-shaming her.
pantstrovich 26th-Sep-2014 06:59 am (UTC)
silvers_shadows 26th-Sep-2014 05:00 pm (UTC)
Also, why are you bringing religion into this when the OP doesn't mention if they or their family is religious?
oneriver 29th-Sep-2014 01:36 am (UTC)
it's a phrase that exists in the world
silvers_shadows 29th-Sep-2014 01:41 am (UTC)
THIS is the comment you reply to?
oneriver 4th-Oct-2014 03:16 am (UTC)
you're the only one who asked a question so
frolicnaked 28th-Sep-2014 04:05 am (UTC)
Hi oneriver,

I'm writing as a VP maintainer to remind you about this community's safer space policies. By posting in VP, you have already agreed to follow the community rules, so if you haven't read them yet, please follow the provided links below and read them before participating further.

--What are VP's rules?
--What is "safe space"? What does "empowerment" mean? What does "accountability" look like?
--What is VP's language policy?

No one should have to respond "well" to shaming. Placing scrutiny on the OP's response rather than their mother's disempowering commentary is disrespectful to the OP and their concerns.

We know that VP asks members to be much more aware and conscientious of their language than most other spaces, and we don't think that you meant to break the rules or hurt others with your comment. A Safer Space Reminder (SSR) is simply a reminder for everyone about VP's safer space policies, and a way to educate all community members about how those policies apply to community interactions.

If you'd like to talk more - for example, if you don't understand why you received an SSR - your thoughts are welcome in contact_vp or privately via email (vpteam@vaginapagina.com). We have frozen this VP thread, so it will not draw attention away from the original post.

Thanks for understanding.

-- Tori
for the VP Team
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