rose_may2000 (rose_may2000) wrote in vaginapagina,
rose_may2000
rose_may2000
vaginapagina

Why does not cumming have to be such a big deal?

So Ive never felt such an urge to "fake it" as now.

I've never been a moaner or really ever dirty talked. Its always taken me out of the moment. It makes me want to laugh even when I'm really into it. Ive met a new guy after being on my own for a year. Its a bit of a complicated situation but we will be having sex from now until Dec. Hes brought it up a few times where it's fine if I'm quiet but he really wants to make me moan. This just makes me not want to have sex at all. Now the whole time I'll be paralyzed with fear that what I'm doing is not good enough. That I need to show more emotion. Be more vocal. The more I tell myself to relax into the moment the more i focus on just those words. Having them run thru my head over and over.

As well he tells me that hes been told hes good. Well then imo I shouldn't have to ask for him to touch me. I shouldn't have to explain that to turn me on on I need a bit of foreplay. I know he hasn't been with that many people. I wonder if they were all just being nice.

The reason I bring that part of it up is because I feel like hes making it my fault but nicely.He thought we should add a vibrator, if that's what I need. But I'm having a great time. I enjoy what we do. Ive let him know that. I know its maybe a little vanilla but I also feel like porn has way to much influence on sex these days. Its also only been a couple weeks.

So I know that I should talk to him more and I have a bit. I'm not sure he believes me. There is also a little more jiggle than there used to be :) so there's that.

I know the best sex I had was when I was 20-22(I'm 29). I remember having to really tell myself to let go tho. It was like a physical/physiological thing. It was also a relationship and not just a random get together. So to me hanging out with someone during the day would get me all worked up and then by the time we got home I'd be super horny.

I know this is mostly me just telling you guys about my life right now but I'm not sure where else to take this. Is this something you can just get over? Am I weird? I think I'm boring him. I like this guy and i feel like its all going down the toilet because i dont cum or as he sees it, he cant make me cum.

Thanks
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