The Whole Story
So I've had pain with sex for years. I really like sex, and I'm kind of willing to just put up with the pain because I've never gotten a satisfactory answer for why it hurts. I've also had extremely painful periods pretty much since i started menstruating. About two years ago, I got a Mirena IUD to help with the painful periods and to reduce the copious amount of bleeding I have every month. It's worked well for that, but I still have pain during sex, especially in the week before I start menstruating. I can't have sex during my period because it tends to make the pain worse. (I know some folks experience relief from cramping if they have sex, that is NOT my experience.)
I'm not in a romantic relationship right now. I have a ... I guess you'd call him a lover? A guy I go out with three or four times a month with and we usually have sex. I'm not really masturbating otherwise, because when I do it hurts and I don't get off the way I do with him. (I used to masturbate almost daily, but in the past year I've been under a lot of work stress and I'm just not interested, and, again, it hurts.)
I just got a replacement Magic Wand, my old one conked out about three months ago. So I tried it out and was like OH MAN THIS THING IS AMAZING and then...WHAM! terrible cramps.
Which kind of reminded me that "Oh, maybe I'm not masturbating because it hurts like f*ck and the pain isn't worth it like it is with Manfriend."
I think I probably have endometriosis. I have most of the classic symptoms. But, I've never had a laproscopy. [Edited to add: I do not have fibroids, active ovarian cysts, or any other structural problem that could be seen on an ultrasound.] Plus, the Mirena is often used to treat endo, so I've already got that on lockdown. (I can't take oral contraceptives because they trigger my mood disorder). But I feel like it took so long just to get help for the bleeding (about 6 years) that the notion of having to stand up to another set of docs and demand treatment for pain during sex feels a little overwhelming.