destroyer of clocks (jocelina) wrote in vaginapagina,
destroyer of clocks

Looking for Advice on Issues Having PIV Sex

Hi, all! As you may know, there are times when a VP maintainer will post on behalf of someone who wishes to remain anonymous. This is one of those times. Please continue with your regularly scheduled awesomeness and help this person out. ;)

I have been scouring the internet for help on a personal problem with my girlfriend. Well, it's not a "problem" but it is something that confuses me.

She's a virgin. And I am as well.. well, I suppose she could be considered not. One guy before me tried having sex with her and met the same success as I am currently meeting; basically I can put it up to the opening, and from there, it does not go in. Her opening is SO small; sometimes I can see it, sometimes not.

We've tried having sex multiple times; the first few times it hurt her, so we'd stop before we even got inside.. it's like trying to stick my finger inside of a tightly clenched fist; that's how it feels trying to have sex; my penis will NOT go in.

Anyways, foreplay isn't really an issue.. I've performed oral for a long time. In the beginning, I'd do it a lot and she enjoyed it. But now, I've kind of mastered the technique for her specific needs and I'm able to get her to orgasm pretty fast if I choose; usually I drag it out, bringing her close, and then slowing down, and repeating a few times. I don't pressure her to have sex, but sometimes she asks for it, and we still fail.. even after she has an orgasm. I use lube and a condom and, well, it doesn't go in..

I've read online about vaginismus but I really don't know if she has it.. the most progress we've gotten is my pinky inside of her vagina down to the first knuckle.. that's it. My penis hits a brick wall. We do push kind of hard sometimes, but like I said, the first few times it hurt her and we stopped, and when she peed afterwards, it burned down there. But last time we tried it didn't really hurt it just felt uncomfortable, and still made no progress. We've tried me on top, her on top. She doesn't use tampons..

But yeah, my question is this: What can we do? She hasn't been to a gyno yet; we are both 19. Should she go get checked out? Or should we just try more often? She basically never puts anything in there so it's probably not used to it.. and we should stick to fingers, right? Like no intercourse until we can get fingers comfortably inside?

She's definitely comfortable with me.. completely opens up. I'm not really sure why it won't go in. But yeah about the opening, I do know about the urethra, hymen, and vaginal opening. I have knowledge of the terminology and anatomy, mostly, but while I have no doubt the hymen is still intact, I'm not sure how to go about this; doctor, or just keep trying, and maybe push harder next time?

It's generally hard for me to keep an erection after failing so many times, and I've tried almost everything I could think of... a 30 min long full body massage before we tried once, to relax her.. etc. Still no progress.
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