For folks who don't know, the LRU is a compilation of items from the past week that may be of interest to VPers and is intended to broaden the kinds of conversations we have here.
To submit articles for next week's round-up, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. If you have additional articles you'd like folks to know about this week, feel free to comment directly to this post.
As a reminder, in lieu of trigger warnings, I use keywords describing the themes of the piece. Please skim these before deciding to read the excerpt or click through for the full article. Outside sources are not safe spaces, and mainstream sources' comments should almost always be avoided. The links I highlight don't necessarily reflect VP's views, or even my own, for that matter.
This week's round-up includes: the "difficulties" of being cis; on skin bleaching; "owing" one's partner sex; the white feminist savior complex; how to listen when a loved one says, "I had an abortion;" and making condoms disappear.
- The Difficulties of Being Cis by Kate Forbes at A Cunt of One's Own (Keywords: transphobia, violence, privilege)
Eight years ago, when I came out to my HMO, they couldn't give me proper healthcare. They didn't know how to deal with people like me.
When I went to the co-op, they didn’t know what to do with my ID. They didn’t know how to deal with people like me.
- I tried the bleach and failed. by Shannon Barber at Nudemuse (Keywords: beauty standards, racism, internalized oppression, skin bleaching, body image)
I fully believed that I was ugly because I was too Black. I did not have the bone straight silky locks I saw on Black women on TV, my face had dark marks, my knees and elbows were dark, I don’t have a small button nose and I was certain I was the fattest fat girl who ever fat girled in the world.
- The White Feminist Savior Complex by
Anne Theriault at The Huffington Post (Keywords: feminism, race, intent versus impact, imperialism)
We, as white feminists, are really not so different from the missionaries of several generations ago. We want to travel to far-off, dreamily exoticized lands and bring the light of the truth to the people there. Like the missionaries, we assume that we will bring wonderful, life-changing revelations to these people. We imagine ourselves standing before a crowd of dark-skinned women, their mouths little round Os of amazement as we reveal to them that no, they in fact do not have to wear a hijab. We think with delight of how appreciative these women will be, how they will fall about our feet with thanks for the truth that we've brought them.
We imagine how wonderful, how fulfilling it will be to know that we have saved these women.
- How to Listen When A Loved One Says, "I Had An Abortion" by Renee Bracey Sherman at Ebony (Keywords: abortion, listening, stigma)
An immediate reaction when someone is telling a deeply personal story is to start talking – either to say that everything is going to be okay or to show disapproval and hear no more of it. But when this happens, the opportunity for conversation is shut down. You are closing off the space for them to speak out. If someone is coming to you with a deeply personal story, it’s because they trust you and need your support. Talking before they’re finished ends the conversation and can impact how or if they’ll ever open up to someone again.
- Making condoms disappear by Tracy Clark-Flory (Keywords: adult films, condoms, editing, safer sex, media images)
This is a scene from Falcon Studio’s “California Dreamin’,” allegedly the first porn film to digitally remove condoms in post-production. The performers wore protection while shooting and, through a combination of lighting and editing tricks, the rubbers were erased — for the most part. Clearly, it is an imperfect art, but in some scenes the condom is undetectable. This technological trick seems like just the solution to the acrimonious debate over mandating condoms in porn. This way, performers are protected and viewers get the rubber-free porn they demand, right? If only it were that simple.
Also, in case you missed it, check out our most recent MMMMonday post on consent in yoga classes. :)
Thoughts on any of these articles?
Finally, what have you been reading or writing this week? Feel free to share in the comments!