box-of-rocks (box_of_rocks) wrote in vaginapagina,

Constantly worrying about pregnancy

Hi v-pers,

I'm 6 weeks pregnant today (4 weeks from my last ovulation.) This pregnancy is very much planned and wanted. In the last 2 weeks, I've taken 4 pregnancy tests "just in case" and they have all been positive - faintly at first, then more and more obvious. All throughout the last couple weeks,, I've had mild cramping/stretching feelings, which I know can be totally normal as my uterus expands (this is my first pregnancy).

Well, yesterday I had some spotting - very minor spotting. Literally, there were two faint brown spots  in my underwear, and a small amount of light brown discharge when I wiped, and then that was it for the rest of the day. I know that this *can* be totally normal, and it was truly a very small amount. When I showed my husband he was like, how did you even *see* those spots? I called the OBGYN but never got a call back - my husband stopped by the clinic and they said we could go to the ER for peace of mind if we wanted. I opted not to, as our insurance isn't awesome and if I am miscarrying, then there's nothing they can do anyway, right?

What I need help with, is how to calm down and stop worrying constantly that something is wrong. See, I'm not having much in the way of pregnancy symptoms, and it's really hard to know,, day by day, if I'm still pregnant! My symptoms are so subjective - vivid dreams, worse heartburn than usual (I've had heartburn issues since I was a teenager), fatigue (who isn't a bit fatigued?). So now I'm sitting here going "my dreams weren't that vivid last night and I didn't have heartburn! Did I lose the baby?"

My first OB appointment and sonogram isn't until Feb 10. I don't know how to survive that long without having solid proof that my little embryo is still hanging out in there. I know that continuing to take pregnancy tests is pointless, as HCG levels would remain elevated even  after miscarriage. I do have anxiety issues, as well - until this pregnancy I was medicated with an SSRI. VPers, how do I stop panicking?

Edit: I had slightly heavier spotting today and saw a bit of tissue in my underpants, so my OBGYN had me go to the ER. All is well, my little tadpole is fine! Heart rate was 141 bpm and blood levels all look good. Thank you for your support!
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