cur_os (cur_os) wrote in vaginapagina,

abnormal pap smear - scared. how to deal with mean doctors in the future

hi. during the weekend, i asked if it's a good/bad sign that my doctor left a voicemail wanting to discuss my pap smear/std test results ( thank you so much to everyone - i read every comment and was so grateful!

unfortunately, my pap smear result was abnormal. so i have to get a colposcopy (?) this friday. this is the earliest appt i can get and can't see my gynecologist sooner. i assume it's a painful procedure since i was told to take advil beforehand. i wasn't told what exactly the procedure entails.

feeling panicked, i needed to see a doctor right then. for what? i'm actually not sure but i wanted to see someone fast at that moment. i couldn't get in touch w/ my gynecologist so someone else from the office told me the results and didn't explain much. so i guess i wanted some authority to answer my questions of "what if"s and such. i felt like fri was too far and found another obgyn that offered to schedule me in for today.

during this appt, i wanted to get a consultation about the results w/ this new doctor and perhaps get another pap smear for a second opinion. thing is, he was pretty rude and scolded me for being impatient, going from doctor to doctor. he told me to "calm down and get rid of this bad habit of wanting advice from multiple physicians immediately" and informed me to go back to my regular gynecologist because waiting till friday for my appt with her won't kill me; with an attitude, he said "you're not gonna die." or, he said, get the results sent over to him and he'll work with that. then he said it's probably hpv.

i understand his needing my results and refusing to do a pap smear since it's been done but he could've been a bit nicer to a terribly worried patient. it felt condescending and made me feel like i was being reprimanded for doing something bad. i didn't know i had to have the results brought to him. he even kept edging me out of the room! :(  in a way, i felt like i was kicked out of there and there's no worse feeling than this when you're so desperate.

does this abnormality really mean i have hpv? can this lead to fertility issues? from my understanding, guys can't test for hpv so how can i be on the lookout and know who has it in the future? this really sucks because if it's hpv, i've only been w/ 2 guys so far and am almost positive it was the 2nd guy who gave it to me. what's worse is that he ended the relationship in the most awful way by completely disappearing on me so i can't even talk w/ him.

i'm so concerned and not really in my right mind. i feel awful and am about to cry. i had a few close people judge me when i turned to them for comfort/support. so i came over here, knowing i wouldn't be judged :)

any personal experiences you can share? advice? i had some more questions but i'm pretty frazzled right now. thank you in advance for reading this long post (sorry it's so lengthy). i really appreciate it!

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