It was a long process and a somewhat painful one, emotionally and physically.
After all the tests, all the ultrasounds and doctor visits I ended up having a miscarriage. Actually the technical term was a "stalled pregnancy". I never did miscarry, I had to go in for a d&c - exactly one week before Christmas.
I was so upset, and second guessing the doctor, yes the ultrasound showed no growth from 6 wks to 8.5 wks but the machine died half way through - yes the hormone levels were dropping, but from everything I read on line it is normal for that to happen between weeks 9 and 10.
But while I sat there and waited for my procedure the doctor came in to speak with me. I had never met her before, I was a bundle of nervous, sad and bordering on a nervous wreck.
She sat down with me and explained that there was no chance of a mistake, that I was/had miscarried and that if I didn't have this procedure I could very well wind up with a sever infection and could possibly wind up with some permanent damage. She assured me that what happened had nothing to do with what I did, or didn't do, that it was a freak of nature and that I should not take any blame. But the sooner the dead cells were removed the sooner I could start trying again.
She reassured me that I got pregnant once against all odds, I had been told for years I would never get pregnant, so why can't I do it again? She told me she would take me on as a patient and once my two weeks recuperation period was over I could "get back on that horse and ride that cowboy" - her exact words!
From that minute on I loved that doctor!
I was taken into the surgical room, and after a very uncomfortable bordering on painful 20 mins it was all over. I was taken into recovery where I had to sit for 30 mins, my ride was called and I was sent home with a pair of un-sexy mesh panties and a pad thicker then most mattresses!
The heavy bleeding stopped within two days, all the pregnancy signs were gone in 36 hours and yesterday was my two weeks. I go see the doctor on the 16th and she told me if I was not already pregnant she would give me a light dose of Seraphin which is a low dose of fertility drugs to help kick start things.
She hopes to have me pregnant by March.
She gave me hope, she gave me reassurance, she gave me the support and guidance I needed at that moment.
So, even though the pregnancy I never thought I would have ended in a loss ... I see hope in the future.
I will keep everyone posted on what happens from here and THANK YOU SO MUCH, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART to everyone and their supportive words, it helped me so much through all of this. This is an amazing community and everyone here is unbelievable in their kindness.