I got out of a (what I now realize was a freaking terrible) relationship this past April. We had been monogamous (as far as I know, but there had been occasional moments where I caught him 'looking' elsewhere; though as far as I know he never actually cheated, but who knows at this point). We had an on-again/off-again break of about a year and half from about 2009-2011 during which he slept with a lot of other women. I was aware during this time that he was sleeping with other people and got tested shortly before the following instance I'm about to describe. I came back negative for all STIs.
One of these instances involved him having a threesome with 2 women unprotected. He found out one of them had herpes and didn't tell me for a week, during which time we slept together. After a while of acting weird and asking what was wrong and him refusing to tell me and me constantly asking if it had anything to with me (to which he replied adamantly always, "No") he then finally told me. He told me that he would go and get tested the following week. He came back to me about a week and a half after the initial discovery and told me that he had had a 'full' STI test and everything, including herpes, came back negative. I was reeling at the time from the severe betrayal of trust (on several levels) and didn't ask to actually see the results as I wasn't exactly thinking straight. I really regret that now. After Full-of-Suckage-and-Fail Ex and I ended things I slept with one person in early September. We used a condom and were extremely careful.
Recently, I started seeing an amazing guy, long time friend, who is in the Marines and is tested regularly. Everything came back negative from his last test. He had no other partners between that test and when we started sleeping together. I had a terrible month and a half of general bad health and last week went in for my annual well women exam. I figured I'd get tested just to start everything off with a known clean bill of health but really had no cause for concern. When I was asked at the appointment if I had any cause concern I first said, "No." Then remembered the herpes incident and told her the afore-mentioned story. Her eyes got big and she told me, "there's no way the herpes antibodies would have shown up that quickly after exposure [a week and a half]. And no doctor would have told him a test would have been accurate at that point." So then I started getting really freaked out that I had been lied to. Full-of-Suckage-and-Fail Ex had a TON of personal responsibility issues and often hid or downplayed shameful parts of himself to myself, his family, and others. While I never thought he'd have it in him to be *SO* disrespectful and selfish as to put someone else's health in jeopardy like this; there's a lot of new revelations I'm discovering regarding the level of terribleness in that relationship and now I just don't know that that's an accurate line I'd draw for him anymore.
I've never had any symptoms nor did Full-of-Suckage-and-Fail Ex but I know herpes can be asymptomatic. On top of all the other issues of trust and anger I had recently been in the process of getting over regarding that relationship this just broiled everything to the top. I'm still waiting on those results and crossing my fingers.
I got tested on Wednesday and what I have found out so far is that I have Chlamydia. This was another surprise that just sent me reeling. On top of anger from the lies about the STI testing and god knows what else in our relationship, I am now faced with a deep fear that I could have been carrying this for 2 1/2 years, not knowing about it, and that I could be infertile at this point. My new boyfriend is amazing and we have already talked about how we both really want to have kids together (someday far in the future). I've always wanted to have biological kids (I realize adoption is an option; but it would be personally painful for me to go that route, even though I respect the HELL out of that route for others; so please don't tell me about that possibility) and it kills me to be faced with this potential fate. It's even further angering because Full-of-Suckage-and-Fail Ex never wanted to have kids and at one point I was willing to give up on my desire for children just to be with him forever. I will be so fucking pissed if the mother fucker that was too irresponsible to do his own fucking laundry - let alone have kids - has destroyed my chances of having biological children with one of the best people ever to have graced my life.
Also, I have informed the Ex and gotten both myself and BF treated, though I do have some questions below regarding that.
I'm trying to do research right now to allay my fears/prepare myself. I would so appreciate any facts (I'm based in the US if that's helpful) and kind words people could provided. It's been a while since I've been here; but I knew I could come back to a wonderful community the second I found out about this and get the help I needed. Thanks you everyone.
I had 1 well women exam between my STI test that summer, my ex's 'test' and now. My pap smear was fine. Would/can Chlamydia be detected during a normal pap? If so, does the fact that it didn't show up last year during summer of 2012 mean maybe I wasn't infected until more recently?
Any stats on how long can you go with (as far as I know) asymptomatic Chlamydia until it starts affecting fertility?
From my research it seems that Chlamydia-caused PID is what really causes infertility. What are the symptoms of PID I would/would have noticed?
I don't yet have my full results back yet. If I come up positive for Chlamydia and negative for PID what are my chances for infertility? What are my chances if I come up positive for both?
My new boyfriend and I knew we couldn't have sex for 7 days following treatment (which we both got, me on Thursday; him yesterday) though we did have to find that out from internet-ing rather than the doctor/pharmacists telling us but we didn't know we couldn't have oral sex. I went down on him yesterday (Saturday) morning and he came in me. He hasn't exhibited symptoms in his genitals for Chlamydia but we were pretty darn sure it transferred to his eye and he got treatment for that as well as the oral antibiotics. I just found out this morning that we shouldn't have done that. Do I need to call the doctor and get another round of oral antibiotics for myself? Or would my dose (single 1g dose of azithromycin) from Thursday still be in my and enough to kill anything in my throat? We will obviously completely abstain from any sexual contact from here on out now that we know.
I'm going back to my OBGYN in a month for a follow up check up. Are there any tests she can do that would test my fertility?
Are there any other things I can do now to help increase my chances of future fertility?