celery_soda (celery_soda) wrote in vaginapagina,

Saw boyfriend's porn interests -- how to not feel insufficient?

So, I asked my boyfriend if I could borrow his computer, and he said yes. Opened it, and lo and behold was his profile on a porn site with all the tags he follows. I only saw a few before I realized what it was and closed out of it: "red hair," "crotch gap," "bare vagina." He also followed some specific porn stars.

I have never had a problem with him looking at porn or masturbating -- it's just that I do not have red hair or a bare vagina. I am not any of these porn stars. And now I know that he likes these things.

We talked about it and he said that I wasn't insufficient, and I don't feel like he puts porn before us. He insisted he liked my pubic hair, and my brown hair. It's just I do feel sort of insufficient now, despite that reassurance.

Will talk to my therapist about it on Tuesday, but how do I start feeling okay now?
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