I have never had a problem with him looking at porn or masturbating -- it's just that I do not have red hair or a bare vagina. I am not any of these porn stars. And now I know that he likes these things.
We talked about it and he said that I wasn't insufficient, and I don't feel like he puts porn before us. He insisted he liked my pubic hair, and my brown hair. It's just I do feel sort of insufficient now, despite that reassurance.
Will talk to my therapist about it on Tuesday, but how do I start feeling okay now?