celery_soda (celery_soda) wrote in vaginapagina,

Having the "child talk"

I am a cis-female, my partner is a cis-male. We have had the future talk before -- for me, that means learning what the other person's life goals are, especially if they will affect a relationship, and seeing if they are compatible with my life. Lucky for us, we're agreed on everything, and are looking forward to a future together -- I must finish college before I move to his town, we want to live together for at least a couple years after that before we get married, and each of us want either no children or one child, and he understands that if there is a child it's going to have to wait until I am fairly settled in the work world and have a career (or at least the experience necessary to get a job after the child can go to daycare).

I think it's important to update the person as your wants change or update. I don't necessarily want to have the talk over again, I just want to let him know that I've been leaning strongly towards the "no child" choice. This is not a temporary fluctuation; I've felt like this for about three months, and have my reasons for it.

He brought up the talk last time, and did so just kind of... bluntly? Frankly? Not in a way that was brusque at all, just sort of a "This is a talk that should happen." Would that same approach work this time?
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