dearest_horatio (dearest_horatio) wrote in vaginapagina,

Confused and frightened with possible pregnancy - talk of abortion.

This has been keeping me up late at nights recently.

I am currently on the HBC Levora, which I started on in January, originally for the heaviness of my menstruation flow and regulating my period. I have been sexually active with my partner now since March, and we always use condoms when we have sex to the point of him finishing, however, occasionally we have uncovered insertion. Now, very rarely do I ever forget to take a pill (I take it at 6:30am), but when I do, I take it as soon as I remember, even if that means taking more than one pill in a day (as instructed with the little pamphlet that comes with each pack of monthly pills). This recently happened two Thursdays ago, to which I took that missed pill with the next day's pill (it was the first week of the pack). On either Monday or Tuesday of that week before the missed pill, we had uncovered insertion, but he never gets to the point of finishing without a condom. I then realized a few days later that I had missed a pill, freaked out for a bit, notified my partner, and we ceased with the uncovered insertion from then. Now, we've done uncovered insertion in the past and nothing unusual has happened, and it certainly didn't feel like anything unusual happened that time (perhaps from getting used to a "oh okay uncovered insertion, no funny stuff happening, cool" mindset). We also had sex on that following Wednesday, with a condom the entire time.

Cut to this week, my third row of active pills before the row of inactive pills (where I am supposed to get my period), and typically on the third week, I tend to have occasional spotting at the beginning of the week that lasts until my period "officially starts" (I am a Sunday-starter with my pack, but my periods tend to come on the Monday, that's when the cramps are strongest, and in the past, I'd get bad cramps at the beginning of my period), but this week I've yet to begin. Now, I've had only one other time where I have not spotted before my period while on HBC, and now I'm just feeling really paranoid of the possibility that I could be pregnant. I plan on buying a pregnancy test soon and waiting for next week to see if my period shows up, and if I am pregnant, I would be having an abortion at the local PP as soon as possible. To calm my nerves a bit, I've read other experiences of abortions, some scary and some rather not, just to see what I should be expecting.

All in all, I'm just feeling really paranoid and sometimes I worry about it so much that I feel sick to my stomach. I'm trying my best to get my mind off of it until the time comes, but sometimes it's just hard. I'm really not sure what I want asked through this post, but I felt that I needed to get this out there and if any of you lovely people (I truly believe that you are all the greatest people, I've been a regular on this website for a few years) have any advice or wisdom to impart, that would be greatly appreciated. I just feel like I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place right now, you know? Thank you so much for reading.
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