1. I'm a very plus-size lady (like over 300 pounds) and I've had sex with two male-bodied and male-identified partners, one of whom has had sex with fat-bodied women before and one of whom hasn't (except for me). The thing is, I can totally tell that Partner 1 knows how to deal with fat body issues during sex and Partner 2 does not. Partner 1 and I are pretty much over, but Partner 2 and I are quite keen to sex it up again and more often. Is there a tactful way that I can talk to him about issues like "You need to be at a different angle or my belly will get in the way of penetration?" I feel like for me, talking about the practicalities of fat sex is going to bring up a lot of my emotional insecurities about fat sex and I'm just a little worried about it. Also, he keeps texting me about sitting on his face, but I'm not sure if this is really a good idea with me being so much bigger than he is (he's a pretty skinny gentleman). Do you any of you lovelies (especially those of size or with partners of size) have any advice for me?
2. Partner 2 from above is also super interested in anal sex performed both on me and on him and performed with toys (on him), his penis (on me), and his mouth (on me). I have absolutely no problem performing anal sex on him (although if anyone knows where I can find a plus-size strap-on harness, that would be fantastic) but I'm a little more leery of anal sex performed on me. I like the idea of it and it's always been something I've wanted to try, but I was diagnosed with IBS a few years ago and I feel like I have a very different relationship to my anus than most other people do (which sounds strange to me, lol!). I guess my questions are mostly along the lines of how to make sure I'm clean, preferably without an enema, and how to make sure I don't have an 'accident' while he's down there. My IBS is mostly well-controlled through diet, but I do rely heavily on medication to prevent diarrhea, especially before sex because I've only had sex 4 times and it makes me a little nervous, lol! If I take like 3 or 4 immodium (which I do with my doc's approval), can I be relatively certain I'm not going to poop on anything during anal? Basically anything you can say that's reassuring would be nice! All you folks have been so helpful in answering my (many) questions since making my sexual debut, so thanks!