celery_soda (celery_soda) wrote in vaginapagina,
celery_soda
celery_soda
vaginapagina

Am I sensing some hostility towards men at my clinic?

I know that the staff of my Planned Parenthood don't know my partner brought up splitting birth control, pregnancy tests, and abortions halfway. They don't know that, during that same talk, he said he understood the need to have someone at appointments/pregnancy tests and would be there if I wanted, and respect my space if I didn't. I know they don't know that, since he just got a great job and I am still in school, he offered to pay more than fifty percent of any of these. However, shouldn't they respect both him and my request to have him present at key times -- like when I am awaiting the results of my first pregnancy test?

He came with me to the appointment, the receptionist checked both our IDs and then told me they would do the first half of the appointment alone and then call him in. I didn't mind them checking that he had not pressured me to bring him to the appointment and that giving them permission to release the test results to him was my idea. What I did mind was getting the third degree from the provider. Though I had already told her he was supportive/not forcing me to do this, she asked, "Why is your boyfriend listed as your emergency contact? Why did you say he could get the results?"

I asked the nurse if I could get him so we could hear the results together before she left with my urine sample. She came back in with the results, and I asked her again if I could get him so we could hear the results together. She said "Well, you're not pregnant," then got him. I was so upset -- what if I had been pregnant? Would I have found out with a brusque "Well, you're pregnant," before she fetched the person I wanted there to support me?

Throughout the entire appointment I felt like I was being judged for wanting someone with me during my first pregnancy scare. And it would have been really nice to have the super-supportive guy that referred to it using "ours" and "we" the whole time, but still respected my individual rights -- "If we're pregnant, what do you want to do?"  I'm extra-glad we're not pregnant just so I don't have to go through that bull again right before I have an abortion.

Is that protocol -- as in, am I reading too far into their actions? I know it is normal to check IDs and ensure no pressure/abuse is taking place, but I felt like this was beyond that, that I was getting the third degree. But perhaps she attributed my nervousness to his presence and not my possible pregnancy? I thought it might be protocol to give me the results privately, but the nurse did not say so and I had already listed him as someone the results could be independently released to.

What should I do? Call and file a complaint? Even if I didn't think switching clinics is extreme, I couldn't do it since PP is the only one in my town.

EDIT: What address should I send it to? They do not take mail at their residence address and do not give out their P.O. box.

FINALE: I called the state's PP number (the individual clinics do not publish their own numbers), and spoke to the clinic manager. I also contacted the regional manager the same way. Both individuals told me there was not a rule or policy stating the results had to be told to me first. The clinic manager happened to be the woman who checked me in (she remembered me because we have the same birthday), and was surprised I had been grilled so hard since I had shown no signs of abuse.

She also assured me that the questions I was asked by the nurse were inappropriately invasive in their nature, (i.e., she had no right to question my choice of emergency contact), as well as their execution (i.e., she was too forceful and if I was an abuse victim it would have been the totally wrong way to ask). Just wanted to share in case someone else had the same thing happen and didn't know if it was normal, because it definitely is not.

Thanks, everyone!

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