As you know, sometimes a VP maintainer will post on behalf of someone who wishes to remain anonymous. This is one such time.
We appreciate you taking the time to share your support and advice here.
For the VP Team
I have a lot of anxiety about HSV-1, cold sores. As long as I can remember, I've been paranoid about getting cold sores - that other people have them doesn't bother me. It's that *I* might get them, if that makes sense.
I think I might have one now. I have this redness at the corner of my mouth. It tingled a bit, but it hasn't blistered (slightly flaky skin) yet, and it's day 3.
Anyway, I went to a pharmacist on day 1 with my husband (who suggested it, to "ease my mind", which I agreed to), and the chemist said yes, he thought it was a cold sore, and gave me some cream. Another female chemist popped her head around and said (quite loudly), "And remember no kissing! It's highly contagious! Just in case he was too embarrassed to say anything! Haha!" (yes, with a haha at the end). I wanted to die for two reasons: 1, embarrassment from the chemist, and 2, because I couldn't believe I had a cold sore.
On the way back to the car, my husband gave me suspicious looks, and tried to make "light" of the situation, saying things like, "well, I'm surprised we avoided them for so long", and "Hah, it's not the kissing I was worried about... hehe". I know he was trying to make me feel better but it made it worse... I felt like I was/am diseased, not to be touched, infectious, and unattractive.
Anyway, this has been going on for three days. He doesn't really come near me - I tried to... ahem... fondle him last night as he undressed, and he stepped away from my hands :( This is making me anxious and leading to silent sobs and tears while he's not looking.
I don't know what to do to make this better. I feel utterly shamed and dirty and like he doesn't trust me any more. I don't think he means to, but I feel awful. I tried to talk to him, but pretty much everything he says triggers me into either crying or I shut down because I feel so, so, so ashamed.
I've attached two photos with the area circled. I have bumps at the corner of my mouth at both sides.
I don't know if this *is* a cold sore, and if it is how will I convince my husband I'm still attractive and not dirty or infectious? I feel a little bit like my life is over because I can't kiss him when I want to, or that he won't touch me...