This feels like I need to ask this question in a male community but I don't know of any where I will get serious answers. I have checked the tags here (not sure where it should be tagged!) can't seem to find anything about this but I could be wrong and please direct me to the right place if not! So I just got together with a new guy, we get on amazing and are getting close and all that good stuff.
Anyway so things have naturally progressed and the other day I stayed over his. The problem came in that he couldn't get an erection, we'd been fooling around a while and he said he'd had one then but then once we moved to his bedroom and then his erection went. It's not a problem, he just got frustrated and stressed out and maybe very tired and I don't know, I feel it was mostly just the pressure, I hope anyway, we still really close and we found other things to do and I tried to reassure him and chill him out as best I could. I know these things can happen for whatever reason.
It's happened again last night though so this is twice now and he just gets stressed but I don't want to ask him why because I know he can't like control it.
My question is kinda more how I should react, obviously I reassure him it's fine and all that, and we find other things to do, but I am quite unexperienced in bed (one other partner, only had sex a handful of times) and never been in a situation where the guy hasn't had at least part of an erection before we started that always quickly became a full erection. I did try and give him a hand job basically, stroke him and stuff, but I didn't know what the best to do was, he still wasn't getting an erection (but then I am unexpereinced so I don't know if I am even doing the right thing) and I didn't know whether it was best to just leave him, because I didn't want him to feel more pressure if I was trying to make him get hard y'know? So I ended up just kinda ignoring him down there and touching him everywhere else but I'm not sure if that's good either cause then he's got nothing to make him get hard? What's normal, do you like touch a guy til he gets an erection? And then what if he doesnt? Same with a blow job, I've only done that when the guy is already hard but is it ok to try while he is still soft? If it wasn't that he seemed frustrated to start with because he was clearly turned on but it just wasn't happening I probably would've assumed I should touch/suck him to get him to get an erection, but because it seemed like he already felt he should have one (there was a lot of other foreplay and stuff) I felt maybe I shouldn't because I didn't want to stress him more.
I know I should probably ask him what he would prefer and I likely will if it happpens again but right now he seems so stressed out about it and frustrated with himself that I don't want to make it worse by asking him what he wants me to do.
So I just wondered if others have been in this situations and how you usually deal with it, and I guess just simply wondered if it's a rare thing for a guy to not get an erection straight away, I feel so naive asking this but I honestly don't really know even though I'm like 25 and should know this stuff!