So a bit of background: I've had sex twice in the last couple months and I'd never had sex before that. My partner and I get along fine, but we're not in a relationship or looking to be in one and I kind of get the feeling we won't be hooking up again, which is fine. Anyway, since hooking up with him I've been using my vibrator a lot more for penetration than clitoral stimulation and the last couple times I've masturbated whenever I'm penetrating myself, I start crying. Just a little bit while I'm doing it and then after I orgasm, I just start sobbing. It seems to be worst if I'm using a thrusting motion (sorry for being so graphic!) even though it really feels very good! I'm wondering if I just have unresolved feelings about my non-relationship or something or I did just start talking to this new guy who's super nice and something might happen with, but hasn't yet and maybe I'm just emotional about that? Could my Nexplanon birth control have anything to do with it? Is this normal? I've heard of people crying after sex before, which I sort of understand, but crying after masturbating? Am I being ridiculous?
Anyway, sorry if I'm being ridiculous, but I just want to make sure that I'm normal and that this will go away eventually; I don't want it to affect any future partners!