dirtywordplay (dirtywordplay) wrote in vaginapagina,
dirtywordplay
dirtywordplay
vaginapagina

Cysts or Endometriosis? Or maybe nothing?

This is going to get long. I've suffered from what I was told were fluid-filled cysts bursting nearly every cycle since 2009. The first time it happened, I had been in pain all day (which was normal, horrible cramps sometimes causing me to miss school have been a thing since I got my period at 11) and was grocery shopping when I felt like a shaken can of soda had been opened in my pelvic area. It hurt and there was pressure at the upper right edge of my pubic area. I went to the emergency room without insurance, and a very kind and caring doctor examined me and told me it was probably non-dangerous cysts and to deal with it, because surgery can reduce chances of ever having children.
I can also remember being young, before ever having my first period, and having a lump in the spot mentioned above. It swells up occasionally and looks like there's a ping pong ball under my skin. I used to relieve the pain and pressure of it by pushing that lump back in (probably not a great idea, really). This lump still shows up often and is irritated by doing anything other than laying relatively flat on my back or left side (pain and lump are always on the right side).
The last several months, my period isn't a "normal" trickle of blood, but a huge gush every 45 minutes or so. The gush will soak a pad (I can't use tampons the first few days because it hurts too much) and leave a pool of blood on top of that. It's not just when I stand up or get out of bed, but even at work (waiting tables) it will gush like that.
I typically have longer cycles, and have regularly missed months (skipped January 3 years in a row), but the past six months or so, I have a big, gushing period mid-month (usually starts the 16th or so) that lasts 5-7 days, and then a week to ten days after that ends, I have another couple of days of random gushes.
This past month, I had my 5-7 day period, then a week of nothing, then two days of random gushes, then a few days of nothing, and then dark brown awful smelling thicker blood gushes for about a week.
I'm only 23 and I desperately want to have children someday. I don't have insurance and can't afford to go in for a diagnosis that I can't do anything about. I have a mental health diagnosis that hasn't meshed well with HBC pills in the past. The shot caused incredible headaches, spotting, weight gain, and mood swings. Mirena was a nightmare, causing 6 weeks of steady bleeding before it worked its way out of me; I went to the ER once and found out it was out of place, my body was pushing it out and the doctor told me I'd basically been in labor for several days/weeks (and that pain wasn't unbearable compared to what I've dealt with otherwise).
When my "cysts" act up, everything goes black, I lean against a wall or grab the counter, and hold my breath. This pain happens at least one week out of the month.
Somewhat unrelated, the women in my family have a multitude of feminine health issues. My dad's sisters both had hysterectomies for fibroids in their late 20s/early 30s. My mom had cervical pre-cancer at 27.

If you read all of that, thank you. I hope I didn't gross you out. What I'm looking for is some advice or support. I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it and he thinks I shouldn't worry. "It might be as simple as a vitamin deficiency" he says. I'm scared that I won't ever be able to have children, and/or that I'll have years of pain to endure just to wait until I can have children and then a hysterectomy.
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