Rose (planetaryrose) wrote in vaginapagina,

Orgasm Woes

[content note: BDSM, polyamory]

A little background on me: I am in a long-distance relationship with my husband, who I have been with for nine years. We are polyamorous; he has a live-in girlfriend, and I have two boyfriends, one of whom is my Dominant.

In the past, I have generally been able to orgasm fairly quickly and easily, both alone and with my husband. Using the hitachi, I could orgasm in less than a minute, or go through multiples. My husband and I opened up our relationship last Summer when we became long-distance, and for whatever reason I didn't orgasm a lot with my partners - some of them didn't like performing oral, some of them were bad at it, etc. This isn't necessarily an issue for me, since I love sex regardless of whether or not I come. I did have one partner who was especially good at oral sex, and I was able to orgasm with him several times.

In February, I had a ridiculous week where I slept with five different guys (all protected, all knowing their STI status, etc.) and um, kind of wore myself out. I got itchy and had to take a break from sex for a while. That's when the trouble started. After that, I noticed it was starting to take longer and longer for me to reach orgasm when masturbating. Still, I wasn't reaching orgasms with my partners. I still haven't had an orgasm with one of my boyfriends.

In the beginning of March I began my current D/s relationship (we'd been seeing each other since January), and one of his requests was that I pleasure myself daily. This *completely* messed everything up, and it was taking longer and longer and longer to come, sometimes as long as 20 minutes with the hitachi on high. When I told my Dom, he switched his request, and said that I wasn't allowed to masturbate, and I wasn't allowed to come at all unless I am with him, since we both thought I had lost sensitivity. Since this, I have had a couple of orgasms with my Dom, which is great, but it is still taking forever for me to reach orgasm. It's frustrating as Hell for me, and then I start to get stressed that it's taking so long, and I wonder if my Dom wants to keep going, and I get self-conscious and's just not good. I haven't used the hitachi at all for about a month.

I am not sure exactly what is causing the problem anymore. I do still feel much less sensitive than I was before. I feel comfortable with my Dom, and I know that I can talk to him. He's been very patient and understanding with the whole situation so far, but obviously I want to please him in any way that I can, and I feel bad and guilty and frustrated that I have been taking so long. I feel like maybe it's just been adjusting to having multiply partners, and multiple partners who don't know me well yet, but that still doesn't explain the trouble with the hitachi last month...I've been feeling especially horny this week and last week, probably because I haven't been pleasuring myself at all, so I thought my sensitivity would go back to normal, but this weekend with my Dom was the same, and it took forever for me to come.

Has anyone else had this problem? I am in my late 20s, am not on birth control and have not been on birth control for two years (I am permanently sterilized).
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