Anyway so I did mention before about having pain when trying to have penetrative sex, I'm technically a virgin I guess, cause I've never properly had penetrative sex. I haven't tried a lot, but with my last partner he is large and it just wasn't happening without so bad pain that I had to stop. Even with lots of lube. People here mentioned things like latex allergy which I am actually going to look into (forgot to mention it to the nurse but I plan to my next visit).
However, I did have a smear test today (is it what they call a pap test in the usa? I know we call it a cervical smear but I've not seen that phrase used on here much), and when she first tried to do it, I was in a lot of pain and she stopped, and she said that I needed to relax (which I think is probably my main problem I guess, because it's starting to become an issue). She also said though that my cervix was angled down and that it was fine, all different shapes and she was going to use a different thing (speculum is it?) to do it with. She didn't seem concerned or confused, just went straight to her cupboard and grabbed something else. The speculum thing looked exactly the same to me so guessed it was just angled differently, that seemed to be what she said. Unless it was just smaller?
At the time (y'know, with my legs open feeling less than comfortable!) I didn't think too deeply about it, but when she used this different one it didn't hurt even in the slightest, and I'm not convinced I was anymore relaxed. It just felt more normal where the other way it felt like someone was forcing something somewhere it can't go, and that's what it feels like with penetrative sex, it just isn't happening, yet my partner has commented he doesn't really get how can have fingers in there and it not hurt the same, so I am starting to wonder if there is an angle issue? Or is it literally just going to be a size thing because I'm not relaxing.
Is the thing she used likely to just be a smaller one or is it likely that it could actually be to do with the angle of me, does that vary in women? Does anyone have any experience of this? I'm just wondering if I need to maybe focus on different positions in sex to try and solve this problem of not being able to have penetrative sex, but I don't know much about it. Everything I found on google seemed to be about having babies, which isn't really a concern for me right now, but maybe if you have some search tips or links I'd be happy with that.
I'm 25 (I may have altered my age slightly last time I posted on here as I was concerned someone I know seeing it!) so I really need to get over my awkwardness and should've just asked the nurse, I'm fine with a partner and happily chat to him about anything, but it's just different with a complete stranger. Thinking I might try to see my nurse more times because then I will feel more comfortable asking her.
I was just wondering if anyone has any experience of what I'm talking about, it could be complete rubbish and I'm ready for someone to tell me that I need biology lessons or something, but I guess I'm just searching for solutions for this problem and the smear test did make me think. It didn't look much smaller so I am assuming it was angled differently, but then I've never heard of that at all!
Thank you in advance for any help/advice. I'm not sure what tags to use if some could advice or tag this for me? I hope my subject line is descriptive enough too. Thank you.