mrtentaclenun (mrtentaclenun) wrote in vaginapagina,

Found my boyfriends porn and why does it hurt me so badly?

If you asked me prior to today how I would feel about my boyfriend watching porn I would say I didn't care. This morning after he left for work I noticed a bottle of lotion by my laptop (that he uses. He has no computer of his own). I laughed and thought "oh he watched porn last night". Then I looked at my computers history, which I now wish I hadn't. The history goes back to June 2011. Not every day, but several days a week he watches red tube. The times show that he waits until right after I leave for work to do it (I normally leave first) ; he will do it before I get home, or he will do it after I go to bed. I know it's unreasonable to be so upset but I am. I feel like something is wrong with me. Why am I not enough? Why cant he come have sex with me instead of watching porn? What hurts most is that 99% of the porn is anal. That's something my body cannot do (but he wants to keep trying). He obviously has an obsession/fetish for it and I feel sick to my stomach. What do I do? I've cried all morning. Half of me wants to confront him and ask why I'm not enough. The other half says its none of my business, it's what guys do, confronting him will only end badly. Please help me feel better. I just feel devastated and lost right now...

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