Now I live with my parents because I cannot sustain myself. I go through moodswings and I have to hide my feelings a lot from my family. I went through periods in my life where I had to learn about sex through watching porn because I had to relocate so many times and I was not able to build any long lasting friendships or relationships. My dad was over controlling and I did not really start to date until I went to college. I was too shy to really date around but I started to develop a sex life when I lived in NYC. However, I had to move in with my family to save up money and I am now that shy social hermit again. AND I am very sexually frustrated.
I realized later in my twenties it was not a very healthy way of looking at sex (respectable way). I also started having sex more often and I stopped watching porn. Nowadays, I find I get horny more often as I am dating while living with my parents. I am now in my thirties. I find I want to just go have sex with a stranger due to my own frustration and anger I feel towards my family. I feel like they took my young single twenties away from me. I know it is very teenager like of me.
Would it be wrong to fall back into my old habit of watching porn whenever I get horny? I have tried to work out often and I filled up my life with hobbies but I get very lonely at times. I am also afraid I might not remember how to have sex when I am serious with someone again.