The Muttering Retreats (bitsofbeauty) wrote in vaginapagina,
The Muttering Retreats

dealing with abuse - resources needed please

Hello everyone, 

I'm part of another local-to-my-area forum where one member has disclosed that she has finally taken the first steps into getting herself and her son out of a domestic violence/abuse situation. At this point she has called social services who are putting pressure on her to go to the police but she doesn't know if this is what she wants to do. All the members of the forum who have responded to her so far said things like she "must" report him and that she "has a responsibility" to report him. 

I want to write a supportive statement and let her know that it is absolutely not her responsibility to carry on with this situation legally or otherwise if she doesn't wish to and that any and all reasons she has are valid but would like to link her to a couple of resources that say pretty much the same thing. Perhaps organizations that deal specifically with women's rights / survival of abuse etc... that can have their own explanations as to why it's important not to put pressure or the responsibility on the victim/survivor of abuse to take legal action if they don't want to. 

I know for almost certain I will be the only one taking this stance and worry that without a link I will be completely drowned out by the voices of horror and protest that will follow my post saying that I am wrong and she owes it to the world/his future partners or whatever thereby feeding the cycle of her guilt and suffering
 Basically, I'm looking for resources that talk about the importance of not placing responsibility on survivors of abuse to pursue legal action. Help please?

Thank you!

(I really appreciate this community, everything it has taught me and continues to offer everyone who reaches out to it). 
Tags: abuse

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