Here is some background: my cis male partner and I, cis female, are wishing to conceive, but I have not had a period since I went off birth control 4.5 months ago. Previously I had been a shoddy tri sprintec taker (and therefore backup condom user :-P ) for five years. The first three months I was off BC, however, I was not sexually active because I was in Japan and he stayed home, so really I have only been having unprotected sex for 1.5 months. I had a pregnancy "scare" in Japan after 6 weeks went by with no sign of menses. I had a faint positive pregnancy test but followup tests were negative, empty ultrasound, etc. So whatever. false positive. It came to me that maybe it was a chemical pregnancy, but if that were the case, then I should have had a period two weeks later, max, right? certainly not 3 months later? doesn't a period follow ovulation by about 14 days ish, give or take? Or am I misguided?
So. Because I have yet to have a period since ceasing my contraceptive, and it's been a ruddy long time since I had a withdrawal bleed, let alone a real period, and I don't know how to tell if I have ovulated or not, and blah blah, frustrations of body wonkiness, I highly doubt it's even possible for me to be pregnant at this point.
Now, two or three weeks ago, I was feeling cramp in my left side, got all excited that I might be ovulating finally, only to use one of those lh surge detector strips not detecting a lh surge. The test band was lighter than the control band and the day after that, there was no test band. I really should look up those things with body temperature and all that but god, with no period to guide me I am just at a loss of when to start. I have sort of been paying attention to discharge, and haven't really noticed anything out of the ordinary. certainly no stringy clear discharge that I'm told means ovulation.
So, with all that in mind,
A bit under a week ago, I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday evening, I paused a round of sex to pee, and when he pulled out, I noticed pinkish discharge on him that came from me. I was delighted, checked while peeing that it was actually my discharge and not a cut that bled a little into my discharge, and thought, oh yippee, I'm finally having a period (a reaction I never before expected to have)! Anyway right before bed, I put in my diva cup. The next day there was a tiny bit of brown blood in my diva cup but other than that it was empty...and stayed empty for the rest of the day. So I looked some stuff up on the Google and saw that ~30% of pregnant women experience implantation bleeding, also an exciting possibility for me. On Friday morning I peed on a dollar store pregnancy test, but it was negative. slight disappointment but honestly not unexpected, given that how could I be implantation bleeding unless I'd ovulated, and I don't think I've ovulated. I have no other symptoms besides extremely sensitive nipples on Friday and Saturday.
So...when people talk about bleeding after sex, do they mean period-blood-esque bleeding or blood from abrasion? It has never happened to me before, but is that what this is? Could this have been my first period post-BC? Are there any sort of odds in the history of the universe that it was implantation bleeding and I tested too soon? This body of mine is driving me crazy. I used to understand what was going on in here and now it's all been tossed out the window.
Commiseration, advice, thoughts, etc. all welcome, thank you for reading!
edit: I was able to see a GP today who confirmed that I haven't ovulated, that I'm not pregnant, and that my uterine lining is getting rather old at this point so has put me on progesterone to promote shedding and cycle regulation. :)