alleriah8 (alleriah8) wrote in vaginapagina,

Relationships (moving too fast? Am I just a prude?), overnights, and anxiety

Hi VPers~

I know this is not a vagina issue, but it has affected my vagina and the emotions tied to it. I'm really at a loss and don't know where to turn, (even went to google; too much information to type in :(

For the record: 26 cis female. No children and an only child myself (that will be relevant soon)

Back story:
Roughly about a month ago, a guy who had one mutual friend with me (a friend who was a vague aquaintance with) randomly added me on facebook. Turns out he meant to add another girl instead who had a similar name that he had met at church recently. Started talking, (just moved to my area, from the next state over (which is about 2 hours away) asked how I knew the mutual friend, yada yada) and after 3-4 weeks of talking, he talked of meeting. He mentioned this past Monday to meet. Letting the anxiety and panic attacks that I have suffered from ever since hitting adulthood (along with several news stories and lifetime movies lol) get the best of me, I decided to message the mutual friend and ask her if I should be worried about meeting him and what she could tell me. She said he was really sweet and gave the stamp of approval.

We met this past Monday at a restaurant/bar along with his roommate, his sister n law, her son and even the mutual friend showed up. We had an awesome time drinking and playing darts, and just getting to know eachother. Really hit it off with the roommate too. I initiated a passionate kiss afterwards. We didn't hang out Tuesday, but he invited me over on Wednesday so he could make me dinner and watch a bball game with roommate (!!!) Awesome time, once again. Didn't hang out til Friday, and went to a sports bar with roommate. Another terrific time, along with drinking. We ended up having sex. It's unlike my personality to have sex so quickly, but I'm sure the drinking may have played a small part. We both agreed that it was a tad fast, and I told him I wanted to hit the brakes a little. Friday, roommate, him and I went to a gathering at a bar(s) with some old classmates of mine. He seemed to click with them all and we ended up having a great time. I'm pretty much having the warm fuzzies for him, but we haven't really had a whole lot of time to talk to get to know each other's backgrounds and just "get used to each other". Everything I do know about him I love, and I haven't seen any real red flags that concern me.

He ended up leaving today to go to a game of his favorite team that he could've sworn was Tuesday 3 hours away. He said he's coming back Wednesday because he didn't bring enough clothes and just didn't plan on being gone that long. He then asked me to go back with him to go to the game. We would leave Thursday morning, go to the game Friday day and come home that night. We would also stay at his brother's house.

Ok, with that being said, anxiety: I get nervous sleeping places where I'm not familiar, not to mention showering, and just, being out of my natural habitat. When guys would expect me to stay the night after sexytimes, I'd leave after they went to sleep, and we lived in the same town. Didn't cause problems, but wasn't exactly smiled upon either. The thought of not being able to just jump in my own car, leave, and be home in a few mins if I want to makes me a little nervous.

Moving too fast: Are we? I mean, I really like him, but considering that I haven't attended very many overnight road trips except the very few times with family members, like vacations or camping trips, or a few times with an ex where we had known each other for quite awhile to spend time with his mom. We have been "talking" for over a month but have only really "hung out" for a week or so.

Only child: This really shouldn't be relevant, since I'm 26 years old, but with that being said, I have somewhat protective parents. I usually ask my mom for advice or we just talk about stuff regularly and I don't think I would feel right not telling her that I am driving 3 hours to a different state, especially if something happened to me (car accident, etc). She doesn't live in the same state as I do (she moved away and I stayed home to go to college (long story). Even still, I could see her 'telling me what to do" by staying "No it's too soon, No. No." She's done the "No" thing before, even recently, and it is starting to get under my skin since I AM an adult and have been one for awhile. I know she cares, but still, I don't want to have to feel guilty. I also don't want to have to fight her on this. She's pretty reasonable, but the "too soon" sort of ties in too...

I guess I just don't want him to think I'm not interested. He seems to REALLY like me (yes REALLY, tbh, maybe even more than I like him lol), and I'm not getting an "unsafe" vibe. Plus, the typical "you know how parents are" thing is coming up even though I'm 26 years old (ugh). Plus, I want to feel comfortable. If I'm not, then it will just ruin the whole time. Maybe if I know it's not that soon into what isn't even an exclusive relationship yet will put my mind at ease.

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