Rebeccagrace (rebeccagrace) wrote in vaginapagina,
Rebeccagrace
rebeccagrace
vaginapagina

Trigger warning :cutting/suicide

Hello VP ers. I'm posting this because I don't know where else to go. My husband and i habveen struggling with veinfertility for almost nine years now because of my spcos. Tonight I found out another person I know is pregnant. This makes the ninth person to tell me in the last two weeks. My husband and i dont have inurance, so Ivf, our best option, is off the table right now. When I heard the news tonight about friend number nine's pregnancy, it sent me over the edge, quickly. I became despondant and for some ridiculous reason, I thought cutting would help. So I took a knife and went at it. Even though Ive NEVER done this before, it felt so good during that Im terrified i might do it again. What do I do? I guess i dont even really know what im asking, but im so scared right now. Ive hidden all the knives but this has really gone beyond what ive ever experienced. Infertility hurts so bad, and i guess i just needed an outlet for all the pain.
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