a few prawns short of a galaxy (glitterberrys) wrote in vaginapagina,
a few prawns short of a galaxy

Has your vagina ever frustrated you so much you want to cry?

I think I've hit my breaking point with all my weird genital problems. I'm taking generic flagyl (can't spell it...but I'm sure many of you know the stuff) for what looked like mild BV under my doctor's microscope.

Well, I'm on day four of a seven day course, and I have no improvement. My only symptom this time (besides the ever-present smell) is gallons of clear to milky white discharge. (I was actually reading stuff I'd written down back in 2008 when I was fighting my first round of BV THAT WILL NOT LEAVE, and this sounds like what I was describing then, actually. This year's course of BV THAT WILL NOT LEAVE has been exactly the opposite of all of that, until now.) I can take the itching that makes me want to stuff a backscratcher up my vag. I can take smelling like the Fulton St. fish market. BUT I JUST CAN'T STAND THIS. Add into it the fact that I have UTI symptoms (BV related? Other infection related? Just bad timing?) and I'm ready to scream.

I'm wearing a maxi pad now in an attempt to at least minimize the discomfort, but it's like...sticking to me or something. I still feel wet and chilled. I've been washing externally with ACV and peroxide just to get a temporary feeling of cleanliness; still can't bring myself to insert anything (especially since I want to get retested at the end of this bout if the antibiotics continue to be completely useless, more on that in a sec.)

Does the fact that this isn't responding at all to flagyl (which is always used to, albeit temporarily, even if only while I was on it) mean that this isn't BV (or trich) after all? I've tried googling my symptoms and it keeps coming back saying it sounds like gonorrhea or chlamydia, which is terrifying - not because either of those infections is scary, but because I haven't had sexual contact with anyone in months and the implications there are a bit frightening, unless I caught it from a toilet seat or the doctor's office, which I'm not sure have ever happened to people outside of urban legends!

I'm in a committed (getting engaged soon, I hope!) monogamous relationship with my girlfriend, and I know with 100% certainty that she has no infections that can be sexually transmitted (she got screened when I tested positive for HPV, which I still can't figure out how I got! One sexual partner in my life, who is HPV negative. Does not compute!) And I know with 100% certainty that I haven't been having sex with anyone else. So I'm scared that I have an STI and no idea where it came from - it already happened once!

So I'm on the verge of mental collapse. Our gynecologists have sent me to the edge of a nervous breakdown implying that I'm sleeping around on my girlfriend (I'm now scared that I cheated on her and blocked it out somehow!) with the constant "Really, REALLY, are you sure you never did anything sexual with anyone else??" garbage. This recurring infection (and fear of what it might actually be) keeps me from enjoying intimacy with my amazingly patient girlfriend who seriously deserves better than this. But the straw that's breaking the camel's back somehow is that I'm wet from my vulva to my ass crack even with the super-mega-absorbent-to-the-eXtreme!!!!!! pads.

Does this even sound like BV? My doctor said the amount of bacteria was less than normal, though my pH is rather off (which it can be for a number of reasons, it would seem, including various infections). Is the fact that the flagyl is just not making a dent suspect? Or the fact that my symptoms are not typical BV symptoms for me? Could it mean a different kind of bacteria overgrowth? A visit from the STD fairy? Could I seriously have gotten gonorrhea or chlamydia from a source other than sexual relations with another person? Is my doctor just completely useless at anything but sending me into horrible OCD spirals?

I'm sorry to post here so constantly, so long-windedly, with so many questions and to complain so damn much. I'm just...reaching the end of my tether, you know? My vagina is broken. So is my brain. And I have no idea where else to go for answers or support. (I'm sure I could just go to my doctor; I don't really think he's useless. I'm just very uncomfortable talking to people face to face or on the phone. So internet is really my only way to go unless it can't be avoided.)
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