(Pride) (ugh_pride) wrote in vaginapagina,

Pressure, much?

Me again. With a slight update. Refresher: for most my 31 years I considered myself asexual, as I was never interested in sex to the point of wanting to be with a partner. I'd shun men and women who I thought wanted me that way. So it shocked me a little when I suddenly found myself in a physical relationship. So, I have no experience. And I'm a bit old for a first timer.

I can't come. I'm right there on the edge, especially tonight as he found a very sensitive spot that he just went to town on. I try to relax and find that switch to come and after a while I end up pushing his hand off of that button cause it just feels too damn intense.

It bugs him a lot that I can't (or won't, as he says) orgasm with him. Though I tell him that the orgasm part isn't a big deal to me cause everything he does feels amazing. But he still wants me to come, to the point that when he's supposedly close to orgasm, he won't do it. He wants me to before he'll even consider coming himself (is that serious, I thought guys didn't care?).

I am on an anti-depressant, but I am not sure if this is the problem. At first I thought it was, but I feel so damn close to coming that I am not sure if it can be. Does anyone have any insight to this? CAN the anti-depressant let you approach orgasm, only to deny you the actual big moment?

He says he is confused and thinks I might have some deeper problem that's keeping me from letting myself go. Then he started talking about his past lovers who all can come so easily. Well, I did ask him questions that lead to this conversation but wow, that really lathered up the pressure... which is not going to help.

I have an appointment with my acupuncturist/herbalist on Monday. She calls the topic of my problem my "furnace" which makes me smile lol. We will be discussing my furnace, among other things, Monday. Just thought I'd see if anyone here had any thoughts. Pointers. Whathaveyou.

Help! :( I should feel all happy and lovey dovey after seeing him, but tonight it just left a sour feeling in my tummy since he's frustrated and confused over my lack of orgasm. Are all men like this?

ETA: red flags all over the damn place now that I had a conversation with him on the phone. Here are the highlights: he's mad that I talked to an acupuncturist about him, said that's not who normal people go to talk with about these problems. He says the orgasm thing is related to compatibility. Says that being close to someone shouldn't be a lot of work and it's a lot of with me since I am so inexperienced. Says over the next year I should see a wide variety of people to find out what my tastes are.

This is for sure over, though we didn't end the conversation that way... I am so damn upset right now. For sure going back to my usual brushing of people off when they show interest in me. This is not worth it.

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