darklyenigmatic (darklyenigmatic) wrote in vaginapagina,

Hymens and Virginity - in the UK!

Hi :)
This is my first time posting - and indeed mostly my first time checking out this comm.

I live in the UK - so it would be hugely appreciated if advice as to my situation fit with that!

I am almost 21, and, over the last few months have been a in sort-of-casual-something with a guy. He's a few years older than me, and after, hmm, a few explorations, bascially said he wouldn;t have sex with me because he doesn't want to hurt me. Both my own fingers and his hurt, and after some use of mirrors - and my own attempts over the years - I've come to the conclusion I must have either a cribriform or microperforate hymen - a fairly thick one. I've been getting myself off for years, though only via my clit, so there's been plenty of exploration in that area.

Following some oral off him, I was having itching and discharge (thrush, joy, and it seems to happen every time) and decided, since I was at the doc's anyway for other problems, to bring it up. She said to sort out an appointment for swabs, and a months later I was back for that. This time I brought up the problem of not being able to use tampons etc., and she basically said 'I'll just use a cotton swab for a high vagina exam, anyone can have that' - some discomfort, since I appear to be sensitive down there - and I decided to ask what it would mean re: sex. She basically said it would hurt, nd there would probably be some pleading, but don't let it put me off. I left it that, but tbh, I don't see how it's going to possible - either at all, or at least not with extreme discomfort. Especially since my guy can't stand the thought of hurting me at all ....

A lot of people on here and the rest of the net say 'go to your gyno' but as far as I can tell unless we're private in the UK, we only have GPs. Should I leave it till actually attempt sex at some point, and then if its not possible make an appointment and bring it up then, or what?? I've mentioned it to a couple of friends, but it's not been a real issue for them, and I don't think it's something I could talk about with my mother. Help? Please?

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