andrea, andy, panda (chicago_doll) wrote in vaginapagina,
andrea, andy, panda

Irrational Fear about HIV test results

Some background, I was in a relationship with a man back in 2010-11. We were both screened for stis, including HIV 6 months after our last sexual encounters. We broke up for a weekend and got back together. He promised that he hadn't slept with anyone else so we continued to both not use condoms. We broke up and I discovered that he had actually slept with a friend of ours when we were split up for a weekend multiple times. He swore that he used protection during vaginal sex with her. About 4 months after his encounter, we both were screened and showed up negative for HIV and everything else except chlamydia and were both treated for that.
I know that is is VERY unlikely that we both would show up negative for HIV antibodies 4 months after, but I am now getting my annual HIV test and my results still won't be known to me for a week. I think I am just upset because it is around the time when we broke up last year and all the hurt from the betrayal (as well as the fact that he was abusive) is weighing down on me and I am so plagued with anxiety that I can barely function. The lady who conducted my test just made me feel awful by saying that I was "emotionally vulnerable" to HIV (though I ALWAYS use protection and don't use drugs and know my partners) for being a survivor of abuse and implied that it was my fault for catching chlamydia due to being involved in an abusive relationship.
Also, I have had no signs of HIV. I guess I was just hoping that someone could grant me some wisdom through this trial.
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