The problem is, when I try to relax and begin to become excited, I feel like if I don't maintain a level of tension, my urethra's sphincter will give way and I'll spray urine into the accommodating guy's mouth or onto his hands or around whatever area the excitement is occurring.
It's hard to get me at all sexually excited in the first place. Breaking the mood even for a moment to try making sure my bladder is as empty as it can be entirely ruins any hope of "getting off." I have been unable, alone, to stimulate myself a level at which this would be a question.
Any discussion on the topic with my various partners has resulted either in, "It just biologically doesn't happen," or, "That would be a female ejaculation." It seriously feels like that "I gotta pee!" feeling, though, not "I'm gonna come." This discussion is embarrassing to have in the first place. The topic is difficult to research, as keywords are prone to return results that have nothing to do with this specific topic.
Can anybody please help?
Advice? Anecdotes? Opinions?
(Please mark opinions and speculation as being such, and not researched knowledge.)
It may help to know that I am still struggling with various societal and religious stigmas to and rules which I once subscribed but do no longer, so far as my conscious is concerned. I don't think that that's the problem specifically here, but it seemed to bear mentioning just in case.
I thank you in advance for your assistance!