the love of your life lives but lies no more (boltonlove) wrote in vaginapagina,
the love of your life lives but lies no more
boltonlove
vaginapagina

HIV

I posted about this in a post a month or so ago about HIV testing so this may sound familiar to some. Before I even start, I'll acknowledge that I know I am aware that HIV transmission from unprotected oral sex is rare, but I also know that open sores, gum disease, etc. increases the risk. I've had issues with my gums (my gums sometimes bleed when I brush) and I have two teeth in my mouth that need root canals.

So, I gave a guy of unknown HIV status oral sex two months ago. I have had sex with guy before, as early as November of 2011, and for some reason it never came to mind to ask him if he's been tested for STDs. I went and was tested for chlamydia, syphilis, and gonorrhea a week later (not because I suspected anything was up, just for myself) and did a rapid HIV test. They were negative. After getting the results of the HIV test I started crying in the car, I guess I hadn't realized how terrified I was until then. A few days after testing I hung out with a guy from school (who had been sick) and when I got sick a few days later I assumed it was because of him but in my head I wondered if it could have been because of HIV. I assume I thought that because the idea was still present in my head. I had the typical flu symptoms and I noticed that a lymphnode under my jaw on my left side was swollen. I had been feeling very fatigued and my pcp tested my iron and I do have slight anemia. She had since ordered an ultrasound for my lymphnode and I'm waiting for test orders to be faxed somewhere so I can go test for mono and the epstein barr virus.

Most of the symptoms went away but the upset stomach stayed for a couple of weeks (my mom thinks it's because of how stressed out I had made myself) and the lymphnode is still swollen. I went and was tested again on day 39/40 since the possible exposure (I tested for everything again) and they were negative as well. I guess I'm still freaking out because I understand that there is a 3-6 month window period and something could change. The guy at Planned Parenthood said most people develop antibodies by day 28 and a lot of websites online say that a test result at 6 weeks is a pretty good indicator. I'm on day 61 (yes, I've been obsessively tracking my days, I have pretty much every sexual encounter I've had marked on a calendar lol). I plan on going to get tested around the end of May.

I'm not certain what I'm posting this for, but any kind of advice is welcome :)

(I've spoken to all of the other partners I've had and they've assured me that they've been tested recently. The guy I'm worried about has never been tested and when I brought up my concerns he said he wouldn't want to know if he had HIV because he wouldn't want to know that he was gonna die. I told him it was his responsibility to know his status to protect future partners and girlfriends and he didn't seem to care. I wish I had been smart enough to ask these questions before I got involved with him)

EDIT (4/12) - I just got the test results back for the mono and epstein barr test. They were negative. :( I never thought I would be sad about not having mono.
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