Accessibility and Sex Toys
By Audrey McManus
Babeland Seattle Education and Marketing Coordinator
Sex toys are often designed with a specific use or purpose in mind, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get creative and use the toys in new and innovative ways. Some of the best experiences with a sex toy are when using them in a way that meets your own needs rather than just what they were designed for.
A great example of using a toy innovatively is the We-Vibe 3. This is a C-shaped, palm-sized vibrator that was designed to be worn during partner sex with vaginal penetration. One end fits inside the vagina and the other end rests on the clitoris. This little toy turned out to also be great when worn by a female-bodied person wearing a harness. The part of the C-shape that stimulates the clitoris is great when pressed behind the base of the dildo in a harness. It is also great when draped over the base of the shaft of the penis so that both ends of the C rest on the scrotum; with one end inside the anus and the other end on the perineum of a male-bodied person; or in the palm of someone giving a hand job for vibration against the penis. All these other uses for this toy were invented by customers who were innovative with their sex toys.
Disabilities are so varied, that there is no set list of things to look for when picking out a toy. If you will be holding it against your own, or a partner’s body you might want to consider the weight of the toy and how you will hold it. There are toys that strap on to your finger or hand so you can hang onto it more easily. You can even pick toys that are designed to fit around the penis that will around your hand, instead. Some toys are great in every way, but have buttons that are very small, or are hard to push. Check out the controls before purchasing and make sure you are able to manipulate them easily.
Often, reach is an important factor to consider for folks with limited mobility. If you can’t comfortably reach your genitals and keep your hand there, a bullet-sized vibe isn’t going to be very helpful. For example, for clitoral stimulation, the Silver Bullet Vibrator is one of our most popular bullet vibes, but you might find the Orchid-G vibrator more ideal because it will extend your reach. Think of the Orchid-G as a Silver Bullet on a handle. It is great for external stimulation and gives you a 7 inch extension.
Dildos that use suction to stay in place on a chair or wall are easy to position and don’t require holding your arms or hands in one place. A thigh harness can be used to strap a dildo to a pillow or piece of furniture. There are also some fantastic pieces of sex furniture that will hold a dildo in place. Sex Pillows are very firm and really do help get you into positions that are comfortable and that you can sustain for longer periods of time.
Don’t feel limited by the description for how a sex toy “should” be used. Figure out what you want to do with a toy and then find the toy that does that for you. As I described in the We-Vibe example, imagination goes a long way! This doesn’t mean to ignore safety precautions, though. Always use a toy with a flared base for anal sex and check instructions about waterproof toys, but otherwise, get creative. If you are lucky enough to live near one of our stores, come and visit. We are always thinking up creative new uses for the toys we have, and we are happy to help you find the perfect toy that will work for you.