shihtzulover (shihtzulover) wrote in vaginapagina,

Very low sex drive...libido enhancers?

I'm 25 years old, and I have very little sex drive.  Back in high school, I was a very sexual being.  I had a boyfriend and we fooled around, but I was never ready for sex.  Regardless, I remember being so intensely into being intimate with him at the time.

Even before I was with him though, I remember having a very high sex drive pretty much all the time. It intensified even further around ovulation, but it was definitely always there.  I had a lot of fantasies, and I had no problems with lubrication, etc.

Right before my 18th birthday, I started birth control pills, just in case I would be ready for sex soon.  I never took a break from the Pill until about three months ago, when I stopped taking it completely  - so that makes approximately eight years on it.   During that time, I did switch pills several times.  I tried mono phasic and tri phasic types, and I tried higher hormone levels and lower hormone levels.  Doctors told me that there was no reason to discontinue use, so I never saw a reason to take a break.

Right after starting my first ever pill pack, my sex drive dipped a good amount, since I was no longer ovulating - and that was always the time that I was most aroused before.  The rest of my sex drive dropped off, too - and the weird thing is that I never really noticed that much, nor was I extremely bothered at the time.  I guess I just forgot what I was missing, since I was no longer feeling the desire.

I have had a few relationships over the past eight years, and I have been able to be sexual - but it was really only exciting in the beginning, when things were new.   After that phase, my sex drive always dropped off almost completely, and I was fine with sex once every two weeks or so, and even less sometimes.

I don't even feel the desire to masturbate as much as I did before the Pill - I used to do it almost every day, but once I was on the Pill, it decreased to about once every two weeks.  At first, I thought it was just because I was sharing a dorm room with a roommate, but even when I wasn't at school, and now that I've graduated college, it hasn't picked up at all.

I met my fiancé there years ago, and it started off the same way - sexual and exciting at first, but once things weren't new anymore, my sex drive dropped off.  He has been very patient with me, but I really don't feel that we're intimate enough, and I know that he would like to be more sexual.  Right now, we're currently having sex about once every two weeks or so.  

I got off the Pill about three months ago, when I had a Paragard (copper IUD) placed.  I am praying that it doesn't expel, because I never want to go back to the Pill.

Anyway, I've read all over the Internet about a study that found that the Pill causes many women to have low testosterone levels, possibly forever (and definitely at least a couple of years after getting off the Pill). From what I have gathered, the science behind it is that the body secretes more sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG) to neutralize the estrogen from the pills, but it also binds testosterone, which lowers the libido significantly.  Apparently, SHBG levels cacontinue to stay very high after discontinuing the Pill, and it could last forever.

I had my IUD placed because I started thinking about how sexual I was before the Pill, and I want to be like that again.  I want to enjoy sex with my fiancé.  I am now on my fourth natural cycle though, and so far, I am only seeing a sex drive increase for a day or two around ovulation - and even then, it's not what it used to be.  I am frustrated and concerned that I will never gain my sex drive back.

I have tried to get into the mindset of sex when I'm not aroused, but it's not that simple.  I'm just not interested, no matter what the stimuli.  I can be kissing my fiancé, reading erotica, or watching pornography.  It's intriguing, but I'm just not that into it.  On the other hand, when I ovulate, I can't wait to be in bed with my fiancé, and we have the most intense sexual experiences of my life.  I know that I used to be more like this throughout my whole cycle, and that's what I'd like to get back to.

I would like to try some sort of supplement, or something that will get me back on track.  I don't want to be super aroused all of the time, but I'd like to feel like a sexual being, and enjoy sex with my fiancé at least a couple of times per week.  I have also experienced decreased lubrication (except on the day of ovulation), and i would like to remedy that problem as well, although I'm guessing that the two will most likely go hand-in-hand anyway.

I've been reading about a supplement called Provestra, but I can't seem to find any real reviews of it.  Everything that I've found is obviously biased, and I can't find real users posting about it.  On the other hand, many of the ingredients that it contains are listed by reputable sites as possible libido enhancers.

What do you guys think?   What can I do?  I don't really want to go to an endocrinologist, because I know that many women have issues with being taken seriously with these types of issues, not to mention the fact that my insurance won't cover it and I can't take the time off from work.
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