justforapicture (justforapicture) wrote in vaginapagina,

Long term relationship, less and less sex.

Hi Superstars!
It's been a while since I've posted. I guess that's a good thing!

I'm looking for some advice on sex...
I am going on my third year in a relationship with a man I love very, very much. He's 25, I'm 21. We've been dating since college. I'm satisfied with how everything is going, regardless of our rough times. He's definitely the person I want to be with for the rest of my life!
So, there's been some sex issues. The first year of sex was wonderful, frequent (4-5 x a week), but the standalone issue was...he can't finish in front of me. He can with masturbation, and we've played the whole "let's both masturbate with eachother" thing, and he finished then, but he cant when we have sex. He says it's not a case of the "death grip" (or that it's nothing I'm doing wrong), it's just not happening. I, too, have had issues finishing, but I'm on anti depressants and have an extensive issue with depression and anxiety, so my mind NEVER stops going...but I always have fun and enjoy the time I have with him, regardless if there's a big shabang at the end.

So, the sex slowed down once I reached a point where I had a period for 3 months. I was so stressed and just disgusted with myself, and it just stopped for a while. After that, I had pain during sex, and after that I had an D&C and IUD put in. So, for the last two years, we've been having sex once a month at best.

Now we're back in the swing of normal life, except that I work 50-60 hours a week and we're both EXHAUSTED. I have a hard time getting turned on by anything other than the occasional gorgeous british musician or cute guy walking by. I'm not interested in these people, but the "new" feeling is the only thing I ever had that REALLY turned me on. I always ended relationships because that feeling faded, and I'm finally sticking it out. I'm realizing there's a whole other level once you've gotten to this point, and I'm very happy where I am, but I'm scared that it's a bad thing we don't have sex often. We have so much fun, and I love him to death, and he loves me, and I want him to be happy, but sex isn't our top priority and it feels so forced and routine to me when we do it. I just can't get excited about it. It's stressful.

Any ideas? I don't want to give up on this!
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded