I really need some advice. I'm in a relationship where I don't enjoy sex. Because I'm not attracted to my partner at all, sex for me is really painful and distasteful. I'm wondering if you guys can give me any suggestions on how to make it more enjoyable for myself, or at least less painful.
Some solutions I've already thought of:
- Talk to boyfriend about having less or no sex: I could do this, but sex is something he wants and needs, and I want to satisfy that for him.
- Leave the relationship: I don't want to do this because of other reasons (mutual love and respect are nothing to sneeze at). It's a long-term relationship and I'm happy in it except for the sex.
- Use lube: we do, and it helps with the pain somewhat.
- Fantasize: easier said than done. Even if I try to fantasize I can never manage to get my mind off what we're actually doing.
- I'm on birth control, maybe that's affecting my sex drive?
I'm afraid you guys are going to say that I'm not being fair to him, or that having grudging sex is worse than not having it at all, or something like that. That's what I'm afraid of I guess. I want to be fair and good to him, I just don't know the best way to do that. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life having sex I don't enjoy. Anyway, that's why I'm here I guess.
Thank you in advance for any advice.