hikerpoet (hikerpoet) wrote in vaginapagina,

Breech baby, surgery, and survivor issues

I've mentioned some of this in everything from pregnancy communities to survivor communities so some of you might have seen one of my posts before, but I figure there might be a bigger pool of people here with diverse experiences, and some of you may know more about the biology end of things than other comms.

Here goes...

I was molested by a cousin for years. Overall, I'm doing great. I was in therapy for a while, and for the past couple of decades I've been super stable and happy. Sure, there are occasional hard times, but overall I'm doing wonderfully.

I'm also about 35 weeks pregnant with my second child. My daughter was breech and we were unable to flip her. I was interested in a natural birth for a variety of reasons but admittedly a huge factor is nothing terrifies me and triggers me more than being awake but paralyzed. HUGE phobia. Many, but not all, people are disappointed by a C-section but the first one traumatized me far more than I thought.

A couple of weeks ago, we found out this one is breech, too! What are the chances! Mostly I am admittedly very happy my kids (and me!) seem to be really healthy but I do have to admit that it can feel like an extra slap in the face to have SUPER healthy, easy pregnancies (I'm one of those people who actually finds it really fascinating) and then have this major mechanical thing go wrong at the ends. Especially as I think I would find it SO empowering and healing to have a birth I am in control of.

Several questions...

Thankfully we did find out earlier this time and there is still time to flip, although we've known for two weeks and no luck yet. I know more than most people due to more experience than I want with this but if anybody has any lesser known but safe baby spinning tips please throw them at me!

If I end up with surgery, has anybody else been similarly triggered? It doesn't have to be the same surgery or exact same situation. I know it is not rare to have various issues with a wide variety of medical examinations as a survivor, but most do not get to me at all--no issues with pelvics, palpating, needles, or anything else--it is just this immobility thing that gets me. Along similar lines, any tips to make surgery as natural friendly as possible and to deal with the emotional aftermath? I know you can't give medical advice and I will be working with my doula and going back to a therapist if need be, but I would still be grateful for coping tips.

Lastly, does anyone have experience either personally or with someone they know who has had multiple breech fetuses? There is a chance it could be a really wild co-incidence but some people are more prone for a variety of reasons. Some of them don't seem to be a factor for me--neither a misshapen uterus or large fibroids, disabilities in the fetuses, and more. Right now the providers' best guesses are it is either a fluke, or extra strong muscles (I'm quite athletic) or the big heads in proportion to bodies that seem to run on either side of the family, lol (it seems counterintuitive because you'd think that would make them more likely to be head down but there are theories that it makes it harder for them to wiggle around a placenta to get in correct position or whatnot). We had been contemplating having a third kid but I seriously don't think I could go through this a third time, which is too bad as otherwise the pregnancies have been super healthy. Let me know if you've heard anything about multiple breeches.

I think that is all and thanks in advance!

Tags: childbirth
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