I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months. We have been sexually active the entire time. 1 week ago he noticed some odd symptoms on his penis. He researched it online and came to the conclusion that it's herpes. He didn't tell me for a few days as we've been having other sexual issues. (not related to stds)
He did tell me 3 days after he discovered it. He cried and said he was afraid no woman would want him because of it and felt like it ruined his life. I assured him it does not bother me because I care about him too much.
I do not have herpes. So I've never had an outbreak. My question is this... According to my boyfriend he didn't know he had herpes, as he's never had an outbreak. I've heard it can lay dormant for years, with no symptoms.
But I've also read things that say the first outbreak usually occurs within days of coming into contact with a person who is having an outbreak/has the disease. If this is true and it's also true that I am 100% sure that I do not have herpes, is it likely he cheated?
Or is it possible his was dormant and never showed symptoms? Because the things I'm reading are saying the first out break is horrible and the following are milder. His outbreak was not bad, at all. It was a little cluster area less than 1"diameter. He said this is his first outbreak. He also has been under a crap ton of stress, which he read online could be the cause of the outbreak.
Any help would be great. Right now I am afraid to have sex with him because I wonder if he cheated and got infected. Also, how long after the outbreak looks healed is it "safe" to have sex. I know it's never totally safe but chances are greater with an outbreak occuring.
I should also note that we had sex within a week before his outbreak. I've read online that flu like symptoms can occur, and I came down with the flu last night. Out of all the herpes flu symptoms it listed, I only have fever, achy legs and swollen glands. But I have a weak immune system and get sick easily. Plus with my job it's possible I got germs from someone... But hello paranoia.
He does have oral herpes and has for years. We never kiss or do oral sex when he has an outbreak on his lip which isn't frequent.
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