dkwgdk (dkwgdk) wrote in vaginapagina,

I've Got It But I'm Not Sure I Want It: Female Ejaculation

[edited 'cause I'm a dork about using LJ editor but I think I'm figuring it out.]

I'm 34, NP.  I got a Mirena in April, but before that I'd been off HBC since my college years.  I ejaculate, but it's kind of...uh...out of control. 

When I started ejaculating, it was a small amount of fluid -- it made a spot about the size of a fist on the sheets and changing the sheets took care of the problem (the fluid didn't generally soak through).  Ejaculation usually happened when either I hit my g-spot with a toy or when my partner pressed it with his penis. In general, missionary-style sex was the only position that caused it.  HOWEVER, as I've gotten older, I've started producing more and more fluid.  Now the spot is huge (think the size of my butt, which ain't small) and soaks through sheets, mattress pads, etc.  I've dealt with this problem with some handy waterproof pads designed for children and incontinent adults, but it's still a hassle and uncomfortable when you end up lying in a puddle.  Plus, the ejaculation occurs in other positions now, too.

This is at the front of my mind again because I had sex with a new partner on Saturday.  I should say, first of all, that we're not particularly emotionally close and this is most assuredly a short-term relationship.  I feel like if there was more attachment at stake here I might be more upset or worried.  As it is?  Meh.  BUT...he's a pathologist. His approach to sexytimes is pretty clinical, in that I got this sense that what he was doing was related to his knowledge of nerves and human reproductive anatomy and not any kind of passionate whatever.  (I contrast this to my last partner who was extremely attentive and perceptive, and was good in bed for that reason.)

So, we're fooling around and he puts his hand in me and stimulates my g-spot.  Unsurprisingly, I gush. Ka-pow, fluid, combined with that head-swimming kind of rush I get from orgasms. He looks at me and says "ooooh, a little stress incontinence there, huh?"

Imagine me leaping out of bed and clutching the sheet to me while saying "We're done."

He was very confused about why I was so upset. He continued "oh, I know, there are supposedly glands that cause that, but there aren't any.  Women who ejaculate are actually just peeing on themselves."

Really?  REALLY?

Here's what I want to know.
1. I can ejaculate even if I empty my bladder immediately before sex.  I can urinate after I ejaculate (and I actually try to do that, since peeing after sex seems to help keep my tissues healthy and infection-free.) Soooooo...
2. Am I actually incontinent?!?!  I used to have mild urge incontinence that I fixed with crazy amounts of kegels. Actually, it was after those kegels that I started ejaculating.
3. Anybody else have mad crazy amounts of ejaculate during sex?  How do you handle it?

nb: No one I've ever been with has complained about this problem, and most guys actually seem turned on by it. However, I'd like it if there was a bit less mess...
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