Two months ago I had a beautiful baby girl via vaginal delivery. I did tear, I had a couple of minor tears that didn't require stitches, but had two tears that required stitching. One tear was toward the right and the other was up toward, but not into, the urethra. The tears were external, but both tears went internally a bit as well. They are now pretty much healed
Before I became pregnant, My husband and I would enjoy rough sex. Not just normal, vanilla bondage and rough intercourse, but a lot of BDSM, scratching, hitting, slapping, humiliation and the occasional rape roleplay, with myself being the submissive.
The rule of thumb is no intercourse until 6 weeks, but at two months I'm still very afraid to have sex. I've always been generally good with pain during sex, but not of the vaginal tearing variety. For real, I just got up the nerve a couple of weeks ago to wipe instead of pat dry after peeing, and I just got the nerve two days ago to masturbate with clitoral stimulation via vibrator. I have not even inserted a finger into my vagina because I'm just too freaked out by the idea of reopening a healed tear.
I know that it takes time, and I'll get there eventually, but all the post partum sex advice I've gotten is regarding 'normal sex'. What about the kind of sex I'm into? I know I should wait til I'm comfortable before doing anything, but how long might it be til I can do a rape roleplay without worrying about opening a tear? I guess I'm just asking about how risky it is to have really rough sex post partum, and at what point retearing during rough sex isn't an issue any more.
Also, I'm breastfeeding so vaginal dryness is an issue, but one that can be solved with lube.