I'm 22 years old, in a serious and monogamous relationship, and have been sexually active since I was 16. Despite having enjoyable sexual encounters, I have never reached orgasm. Never with oral, PIV, etc. It feels great but I never reach orgasm. Of course, I have no idea what it would feel like if I did, so I don't know if I'm getting close or not. My partner is willing to take all the time I need, but I tend to get frustrated and would rather get on with the main event.
All this being said, I've also never masturbated. Not due to lack of trying, though. I get myself fully comfortable, relaxed, and then I can't get turned on. This isn't a problem when I'm with my partner. I've tried using the bathtub, vibrators, fingers, etc, and nothing works. If my partner and I decide to masturbate mutually, I start off turned out because he's been touching me, but then as soon as I touch myself, I lose all of that turned on feeling.
Basically, I want to know how to turn myself on and reach orgasm on my own, so that I know how to get there during sex with a partner. Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences? I don't have anyone to talk to about this in my life right now, but I know that the wonderful people at VP will be supportive and non-judgmental. Thank you in advance!