June 10th, 2012

VP mod comment

Links Round-Up: Week ending 09 June 2012

Links round-up

Welcome to our weekly links round-up. The LRU is a compilation of items from the past week that may be of interest to VPers and is intended to broaden the kinds of conversations we have here. To submit articles to the round-up, e-mail also_warriors@vaginapagina.com

As a reminder, in lieu of trigger warnings, I use keywords describing the themes of the piece. Please skim these before deciding to read the excerpt or click through for the full article. Outside sources are not safe spaces, and mainstream source's comments should almost always be avoided. The links I highlight don't necessarily reflect VP's views, or even my own, for that matter. 

This week's round-up includes: Whitewashing in advertisements; Men rule coverage of women's news; loving your (difficult) body; Undocumented Apparel: a twist on AA ads; obese women face job discrimintion; Inuit communities continue to face widespread hunger

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What have you been reading (or writing!) this week?
VP mod comment

Anonymous post: Safer sex for people with mixed herpes statuses

Greetings, fellow Superstars! As you probably know, from time to time the VP Team makes posts on behalf of people who wish to remain anonymous or who do not have LJ accounts. This is one such post. Thanks in advance for your helpful comments.

--Eli
for the VP Team
contact_vp

-----

I am a 71 year old male HSV negative and my 70 year old girlfriend is HSV - 2 positive. We have been talking about getting more intimate. She does not want to share her problem with me, so we have been researching and talking about condoms, non intercourse sex, mutual masturbation, and other forms of sex. Any ideas?
Tardis, Doctor Who

Sort of off topic: Knowing you shouldn't have kids?

Hi there  : )

I'm 23 and a grad student, not in the place financially or professionally to feel ok making new humans yet, but I'm starting to think about my future and what it might entail and the topic of kids is sort of a stumbling block where that's concerned.

I have always maintained several very good reasons for not wanting children. They grow inside of people, are expensive financially and in terms of the time sacrificed to take care of them and so on and etc. and I'm a woman and I'm very aware that much of that would fall on me. My dad left and I have seen how difficult being a single mother is. I never want that for myself, ever.

I have also always been absolutely terrified that I will turn into my mother. She is emotionally abusive, and was occasionally physically abusive until we stopped being scared of her. That took too long, in my opinion, and should never have been the case. I can't talk to her about it because she is of the opinion that because she LOVES us, everything she has ever and will ever do for us is for the best and beyond question. We have a difficult relationship and dealing with those issues is very difficult.

Now, this is still a valid fear. I am constantly afraid of turning into my mother. However I have also come to the realisation that I adore children. All the scary financial and responsibility and personal issues stuff aside, I do.

However I'm trying to reconcile the fact that I want so many things for myself and I'm afraid I'll be too selfish to properly raise a child, but then I'm also afraid that that's my mother hyper-controlling cloying and needy style of parenting kicking in. Basically I have no idea what a healthy parental relationship looks like in order to be able to assess whether or not I would ever be capable of that.

Is there therapy available for this sort of thing? I'm not even sure what vocabulary to use. Basically I'd like to know I can be a healthy and non-abusive parent long before I consider becoming one.

Any help?
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